USUK: Failure
by CandiceWong
Summary: Alfred is proud of the life he's built for himself, with a closet filled with overpriced clothing and a younger brother he can boss around, things can't get any better...But when push comes to shove and mummy dearest asks him to tutor the retard of the school, Alfred will have to decide in between being king of the school and a good person. cover by
1. Chapter 1

USUK: Failure Chapter 1 

"Come on Alfred, it won't be _that_ bad!"

Alfred folded his arms, giving a deep sigh before he turned to face his brother.

"Yes it will! What will become of my reputation when they find out that...retard is coming to my place every Friday evening?"

His words painted a frown across Matthew's face, his eyebrows furrowed in disapproval.

" He's mentally challenged, Al! The least you can do is be nice to him!"

" How am I even supposed to talk to him?! Arthur's a weird kid that carries around a stuffed animal wherever he goes! I can barely say hi to him, never mind explain textbook questions to him!"

"Just use small words. Be _nice_. Not like you were this morning when you got almost half the school to call him a retard on his way to science..."

Alfred grit his teeth, slumping awkwardly in the silence as his brother's angry fumes drifted through the room.

"Yeah, whatever...I'm only doing this because mom asked. That, and I'm getting paid..."

Ding. Matthew smirked at the chime of the doorbell, slipping into his bedroom as he left Alfred to great their rather...special guest.

"Fucking great..."

Alfred sighed, flopping back into the minty blue cushions before crossing the floor and gathering a grip on the cold, steel handle.

" B-brother, I'm scared!"

The tiny blonde tugged on Ian's sleeve, giving a shy squeak as the door swung open.

"Behave yerself, okay?"

Arthur gave a brisk nod, squeezing the stuffed animal as he waved goodbye to his older brother. Alfred stepped aside, taking notice of his nervous expression as he watched the blonde carefully slip off his shoes and place them in the nearby corner.

" So, uh...just follow me, okay?"

The brit gasped as they entered the kitchen, his eyes filled with excitement as he studied the crisp details of the shimmering clean counter. Alfred lead him over to the table, rolling his eyes at the second gasp that escaped Arthur as his eyes fell to the organized lay out of the notebooks and pens.

" Alright, so if the answer is 12...X must be.."

Arthur nabbed the pen from his fingers, grinning as he scrawled the blue ink along the thin sheet of paper.

" Done!"

Alfred leaned over on his elbow, scrolling his eyes over the neat print as Arthur snuggled up to the fuzzy plush toy that rested in his lap.

" Yeah, it's just about right..."

The brit smiled, flicking his gaze over to him as his legs rocked back and forth in anticipation.

"But since you missed the negatives here...here...and here, your answer would change."

Arthur's face fell as he met the bleeding circles around his answers, a giggle escaping his lips as he went to correct his mistakes.

" Heh, I guess I really am a retard..."

Alfred's ego deflated immediately, the shame perching on his neck as he watched the pen waltz nimbly between the lines. The guilt played him like a puppet, forcing him to clap a hand over Arthur's shoulder before adding a checkmark beside the corrected numbers. Alfred flashed a vibrant smile, turning the brit to face him as the memory of his hateful act haunted them mercilessly.

" No, it's a simple mistake...I do it all the time."

Arthur blinked, bashfully shaking his head as the name stuck to him.

" Yes I am, the entire school called me a retard..."

He paused for a moment, bringing the rabbit closer to his chest. Arthur yearned for security, and Mr. bunny always kept him safe from the mean words of his classmates.

" Even you."

His words pierced a hole through Alfred's chest, his ego shrinking down the size of a pea.

" Well, you're right."

" Huh? What do you mean?"

He jabbed his index finger alongside the checkmarks scrawled across the page.

" You're right. Look, you're answer's correct!"

Arthur's smile returned, his eyes shimmering with joy.

" R-Really?!"

" Yeah, you're right."

Arthur couldn't believe himself, he had never been right before! His cheeks flushed a bright red and he blubbered quietly, his vocal cords tied into knots.

" I-I've never been right before..."

Alfred felt his heart sink, flicking his gaze to the worn plush toy.

" I doubt that's true..."

" It is true."

" No, Arthur..."

The American plastered a smile onto his face, lifting Arthur's gaze up off the ground as he let his thoughts spill into the open world.

" You're a smart kid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise..."

" Th-Thank you..."

Alfred clamped the textbook shut, his muscles serving as a strong breeze that swept it towards the edge of the table.

" So, who's that?"

" Who?"

Arthur follow Alfred's finger, grinning as his gaze flickered down to the stuffed animal caged in his arms.

" Oh this? His name is Mr. Bunny...He's my bestest friend in the whole wide world!"

Alfred frowned, arching his eyebrows in concern as he studied the rabbit's tattered fur. _" Wow, I wonder how long he's been friends with that thing..." _The tense silence lingered in the air and served as glue to their lips, Arthur shifted his gaze along the cold kitchen tiles, a sigh of relief escaping them both as they heard the doorbell chime.

"Looks like your brother's here..."

He waved the American goodbye, his heart unable to decide whether to sink or swell of happiness as he pulled his shoes on. The tiny blonde struggled with his shoe laces, folding in the loops as he hummed cheerfully.

" Over and under...like a rabbit ears~"

Alfred yanked the door open, chuckling softly as Arthur abandoned his task and threw his arms around the ginger.

" Big brother, I missed you!"

A blush crawled across Ian's face, the worn plush toy serving as a wall between him and his brother.

" How was he? Not tae much tae handle right?"

" Nah, he was great! He picked up the concepts just like that, he'll be scoring A's in no time!"

The Scotsman couldn't help his smile, showering Arthur in praise.

" That's great! Thank ye so much!"

" Yeah, and Mr. Bunny learned too!"

Ian's face fell, his expression matching Alfred's as they struggled to wrench their words out from the tidal wave of pity. He took a step backwards, shifting nervously as he pulled Arthur along with him.

" Alright, thanks again. We'll see ye next Friday, then..."

The two brothers slipped out into the corridor, a pang of uneasiness striking Alfred's chest when the ding of the elevator passed through his ears.

" I've never seen someone so lonely..."

"Comes to show how lucky you are..."

The American jumped, sighing in relief when his eyes finally settled on the source of the voice. Matthew crossed the floor, grinning as he flopped onto the leather couch cushions. He obtained the controller up from the carpet, smoothing his fingers over the round buttons as he held a loose grip around the device.

"It's videogame night, you know what that means~"

Alfred broke into a smirk, diving onto the seat next to him as he snatched the hunk of plastic from under his feet.

"You'll crawl into bed with me again, Mattie! You're such a wuss!"

The room erupted in a soft laughter and they threw their fists at each other, tossing harmless swear words from here and there through the long hours of gaming. Alfred shrieked, his breath cut short by the faceless figure that seemingly pounced out of the screen.

" Eeek!"

Matthew rolled his eyes, shoving away from the muscular body that clung to his arm. The TV gave a sickly hiss, its energy leached away as the Canadian's finger pressed down on the bright red button of the remote. Alfred blinked for a moment, the tension leaving his muscles as he relaxed against the smooth leather.

" That was scary..."

" Who's the wuss, now?"

They giggled, whacking each other with cotton-stuffed shapes before their laughter simmered into silence.

" Hey, Al?"

" Hmm?"

" You know Katyusha, right?"

Alfred's ears perked up, the mention of his big-breasted classmate sparking a flame of interest.

" Yeah, what about her?

" I went to her place on Saturday, you know, after the party? We ended up having sex."

The American greened, his face scrunching up at the bitter taste of envy. He held a tight grip on fabric of Matthew's sweater, shaking his boney frame back and forth as the frustration ruptured through his words.

" What?! You got some before me?!"

Matthew smirked, amused by the flowers of jealousy that bloomed within his brother's expression.

" Yep. Before you, Alfred..."

" H-How?! If anyone should get to fuck chicks it should be me!"

"Make your intentions clear, Alfred...Or you'll end up in the friend zone."

Alfred pulled his fingers away from the bright red fabric, his eyes twitching as he fumed angrily.

" It's because you're an asshole...You never look beneath the surface and you're always judging people."

The blonde felt his heart sink, showered with a mix of jealousy and self-doubt as the lights of the apartment room dimmed. His whispers bounced off the four walls, haunting him without mercy as the hands of the clock passed each other again and again and again.

" Alright, time for bed, lad..."

Arthur frowned, pouting as he turned to face the tall Scotsman that stood by the doorway.

" Already? But it's only nine, brother!"

" Come on, I know ye, Arthur...you're tired."

A yawn escaped the brit's lips and he grinned, watching his brother cross the floor and melt into his embrace.

" Yeah, I guess I'm a little sleepy...Just a little, through."

Ian chuckled, his fingers roaming through the golden jungles that grew from Arthur's scalp.

" No, you're really tired..."

A soft blush dusted over Arthur's cheeks, his words jumbled.

" N-No! It was Mr. Bunny yawning!"

The ginger shifted, pulling open the covers as he went to make room for the scrawny boy that came to join him. The day's stress rested a weight on his eyelids, lulling him into a gentle sleep as Arthur lay wide awake.

"Big brother?"

Ian blinked, the exhaustion muffling the words of his brother.

"Hmm?"

"Remember that time I was sick with pneumonia?"

Arthur felt a tear roll down his cheek, the feeling of worthlessness stirring his emotions.

" I remember mum coming home one night and she, tucked me into bed and...gave me a kiss on the forehead. She told me that she loved me and sang me to sleep..."

Ian felt a blade of conflict stab him, the anxiety pooling in his chest as he processed the words that passed through his two ears. It was rare that Arthur spoke like this, and when Arthur had these moments of sudden maturity, it really worried him. The Scotsman remained silent, shocked by the cold vibe of the phrases directed towards him.

" I wonder if that ever actually happened...Maybe I was just so sick that I dreamt it all and I believed it was real..."

A lump of air traveled down his throat, his heart pounding as he waited for Arthur to continue.

" I would've asked her but...I'm afraid the truth will break me."

Ian grit his teeth, piercing through the skin that protected his lips.

"Because if it never really happened...and it was all just a dream, I don't really want to know."

The exhaustion finally took over, sending Arthur down a river of self-pity as he drifted into the blissful world of sleep. Ian pulled the dreaming body up to his firm chest, giving a deep sigh as the memories began rolling again.

" Don't worry, lad...I'm sure mum loved ye."


	2. Chapter 2

" Are ye sure you'll be okay?"  
Ian pinned his gaze on the tiny blonde that peered up at him, the anxiety twisting his gut into knots. Ian had been driving Arthur to and from school for years, it was the only way to put his mind at ease. Arthur was a retard, well, that's what his seventh grade bullies called him...Even after they put him in the hospital. Since then, Arthur had been terrified of walking to school and public places in general. The brit shook nervously, clutching the animal in his arms as he forced a smile.  
" Yeah! I'll be fine, big brother!"  
Arthur bared his teeth, a vicious grin warping his expression.  
" I'm stronger than them, now!"  
Ian chuckled, ruffling Arthur's soft hair before buttoning up the white shirt over his muscular form.  
" Alright, alright...Go now, before you're late."  
The Scotsman watched as his brother slipped into the crisp autumn air, the anxiety cutting his breath short. Slumping up against the wall, Ian struggled to inflate his lungs with air, drawing blood from his lower lip as his mind stirred with worry._ " Please, please let him be okay..." _  
Arthur clasped his fingers around the straps of his backpack, steadied by the weight of his several textbooks.  
" Maybe someone will be my friend today..."  
The contents of his pencil case bounced with every step, a butterfly hatching from his cocoon of optimism. A smile settled on the brit's face, the thought of having a friend to walk to school with filling him with joy. Arthur's eyes perked up at the loud chatter that approached him, his smile fading as he crossed paths with Alfred. Arthur didn't bother waving, Arthur knew his place on the social ladder. Alfred had friends, Alfred was popular and cool. Arthur was a retard, Arthur was neither smart of desirable. Alfred was too good for him and the whole world knew it.  
The brit's loneliness didn't go unnoticed and the spring of guilt in Alfred's chest only grew tighter. The American felt his appetite vanish, the oil-soaked burger and fries turning his stomach like a door knob.  
" I can't believe I did that to him..."  
His mind set the morning scene on repeat, taunting him mercilessly with Arthur's pitiful expression. With his friends distracted, Alfred slipped out of their discussion, driving his feet towards the cafeteria's exist. The American winced at the sight of Arthur, an uneasiness settling in his gut as he spotted the worn stuffed animal resting in his lap.  
"Matt was right...he is lonely..."  
Alfred watched carefully, peering out from behind the brick structure.  
" hey, Mr. Bunny ?"  
Alfred felt his heart ache at the genuine tone that accompanied his words. The tiny blonde directed his focus towards the rabbit, pausing for a moment as he waited for a reply.  
" Remember Alfred? You know, my tutor?"  
Arthur blinked, his chest caving in a deep exasperation.  
" He's really friendly and really smart too...He's a cool kid and he has lots of friends."  
Alfred stammered in the silence, pierced by a blade on conflict. He knew himself well, his marks weren't great, his average a meager 75%. He wasn't cool either and he certainly didn't consider those jocks his friends. Most importantly of all though, he didn't consider himself as a friendly person. Like Matt said, he was an asshole, he was everything to be expected in a typical sophomore. He was judgemental, rude and uncaring...All he thought about was sex, partying and drugs. Still though, how could Arthur think so highly of them?  
" I wish I wasn't so stupid. I wish I was cool like him... , what can I do to be his friend?"  
The brit shrank inwards, his spirits deflated at the lack of response.  
" If I was his friend then I would have someone to walk to school with, maybe I'd even have someone to add to my contacts..."  
He bowed his head in shame.  
" The only one I call is Ian...Do you hear that Mr. Bunny? I only have you and big brother to care for me..."  
The silence added a bone-chilling vibe to his words.  
" And sometimes, I feel like big brother doesn't want me..."  
The disbelief shook Alfred by the gut, urging him to cross the field despite the strain of his muscles. Oblivious to his footsteps, Arthur unpacked his sandwich, frowning at the presence of meat. The brit pulled a face that screamed "yuck", slowly prying the slice of ham out from the cheese and lettuce.  
" Don't like meat?"  
The taller blonde chuckled as Arthur gasped, amused by the utter shock in his expression. A soft blush dusted over his cheeks and Arthur went back to nibbling on the piece of bread, clearly flustered.  
" Yeah, I'm a vegetarian.."  
" Why though? Meat is great!"  
For the first time in years, Alfred smiled genuinely. He was completely immersed in the conversation, happiness fluttering in his chest with every reply he generated.

" Where do you come from?"  
Arthur sipped from his thermos, grinning at the bitter taste of caffeine. Arthur loved tea ever since he was a child, like the smell of rain, it reminded him of home.  
"London. How about you?"  
" D.C. how long have you been here?"  
The blonde paused for a moment, rewinding his tape of memory as he searched for an answer.  
"Since I was ten...Just over 5 years. "  
Alfred bit his lip, furrowing his eyebrows at the thought of Arthur surviving middle school. Even he himself, a cool kid, struggled through those years of education. It must've been hell for someone as innocent and frail as Arthur.  
"Do you like it here?"  
Arthur shifted slightly, spitting out a cold, hard lie.  
"Yeah, I like it here..."  
Arthur didn't hate New York, he adored the liveliness of the city and Times Square was no exception. However, Arthur hated school...and even though things had died down since the eighth grade, he felt alienated in the culture and society of America. It was as if everyone grew up so quickly and he was forever a child, a child in a crowd of sophisticated, intelligent adults with no one to play with.  
"That's good."  
The pity clouded his mind and without a second thought, Alfred found himself holding a tight grip on the brit's hand, unable to let go.  
" Al, is that you?"  
The American recognized the voice immediately, prying him fingers away from Arthur's as a jolt of panic played his spine like a xylophone. He couldn't risk getting caught and he had to maintain a good image...even if it meant hurting Arthur. He swallowed his pride, plastering a cunning smirk onto his face as he let the toxic pour out from his lips.  
"Hang out? With me? Yeah, ask me again when you know left from right okay?"  
The tall, lean-built teenagers circled him, showering Arthur with hate as they roared in a menacing laughter.  
" Don't set such high expectations for him, Alfred! He doesn't know his head from his ass, how can you expect him to understand you?"  
The names stuck, and Arthur lay curled up in the grass long after Alfred had abandoned him._ Retard, faggot, loser_...They beat against his eardrums again and again and again.  
" It's all true...It's all true..."  
Arthur's pores erupted in a cold sweat, the self-doubt and humiliation filling his eyes with tears.  
" I-I know big brother loves me...He likes taking care of me...he doesn't think I'm stupid..."  
The makeshift lies served as razorblades to his throat, nonetheless, Arthur swallowed them, wincing as they cut through the lining of his stomach.  
" I don't even need to ask him, I know it's all true!"  
Mr. Bunny lay curled up against his chest, providing a warm comfort as he soaked up every drop of Arthur's pain. With his fur tattered and wetted, the brit delivered a kiss to the rabbit's head.  
" I would ask him but..."  
The period bell chimed, ripping through the silence that froze his tears.  
" I'm afraid the truth will break me..."  
As much as he tried to hide from the truth, Arthur broke several days later. With the stress of a lifetime on his shoulders, Ian held the cool metal up to his ear, oblivious to the monstrously loud tone of voice.  
" I love him and all but, I just don't know what to do with him...He's...so much trouble.."  
Arthur set down his crayon, pushing the colouring book aside as he listened in on the conversation that flourished in the room next door.  
" He doesn't have a future, Francis...What use will it be to put him through college? He doesn't even know how to tie his own shoelaces..."  
Arthur's heart sank through the floor.  
" He's a burden...Even mum dumped him onto me, she didn't want to deal with him."  
The brit whimpered, numbly blinking as his ribcage shattered under the crushing weight of reality. Arthur crawled into bed, dissolving into a chorus of sobs as the blankets swallowed him.  
" E-Even big brother doesn't want me..."  
The Scotsman clamped his phone shut, giving a deep sigh as he steered his feet down the corridor.  
" Arthur, time for dinner..."  
Ian came to a stop in front of Arthur's bedroom, a spark of worry ignited within him as a low moan passed through his ears. The brit pulled his knees up to his chest, drawing the blood from his cheeks before masking his face in a dripping nausea.  
" Not feeling well?"  
Arthur flicked his gaze up at the Scotsman, surprised by the opening of the door. He bowed his head in a slight nod, his teeth grit in a fake display of pain. Ian crossed the room.  
" What's wrong, lad?"  
" My stomach..."  
An uneasiness settled into the ginger's expression, his fingers gliding though the blonde locks of hair.  
" Does it hurt..?"  
" Yeah.."  
" Okay...well, Mr. Bunny will keep ye safe...tell me if ye need anything.."  
Ian pressed his lips up to Arthur's forehead, taking one last glance at his younger brother before slipping out into the hall._ Click_. With the door shut gently, Arthur let the tears flow once more, the salt burning through his skin like bleach.  
"Dude! Hurry the fuck up! I have Calculus!"  
Anxiety bubbled in Alfred's gut, leaving his heart racing as he gripped the cold lock in his sweat palms. Alfred absolutely hated his gang, and yet, he found himself speechless and nervous as they pressured him to be a douchebag.  
"Why? What did Arthur ever do to us?"  
The American frowned, his pupils sticking to the wall of blue. He carefully manoeuvred the dial to match up with its given numbers.  
"We pick on him all the time! You had no trouble calling him a retard, so take his rabbit if you're nothing but his tutor!"  
_Clink_. Alfred stopped the needle at three, plastering a grin onto his face when the lock snapped open with a gentle yank.  
"What? Do you like him?"  
The door to Arthur's possessions swung open and Alfred nabbed the worn plush toy, stuffing it into his pocket before delivering a punch to Kyle's shoulder.  
"Don't be stupid! I have standards!"  
The crowd erupted in an obnoxious laughter, the shame straining the muscles that held up his smile. Matthew frowned, brushing past the American as he spewed words of hate and disgust.  
_" Can't believe you'd hurt him like that...Thought you'd make an effort to change yourself..." _  
Alfred winced at the truth that seeped into his chest, his shoulders shaking under the sudden weight of reality._ Poor kid has nothing for live for, no one to guide him, no one who will love him for the years to come and I just took away the one thing that made him happy...I should be sent to hell for this..._  
_Click-clink_. Arthur paled, his heart dropping through the floor when he met the empty space in his locker.  
"Mr. Bunny ...? Where are you..?"  
Arthur blinked for a moment, taking a few seconds to peer through the heaps of dust and books within rusty metal frame. The words of his brother rang through his ears once more, bringing him to his knees immediately._ Thud_. Arthur's spirits hit rock bottom, the absence of his only friend was too much to bear. Like a wrecking ball, it had completely destroyed him. A garden of suicidal thoughts bloomed exponentially, his mind endlessly pierced by the thorns of the crimson red roses.  
"Even Mr. Bunny ran away from me...He doesn't want to be with me because I'm not cool..."  
The silence of the school hallway left him a sputtering, stammering mess.  
"No one wants me here...I should die..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Really sorry for the long wait, got distracted by Christmas and being kinda sick. Aside from all of that, I hope this can compensate for a late Christmas gift please enjoy this chapter. **

USUK: Failure Chapter 3 

" Eww! Are you serious? She's such a skank!"

" Yes. Oh my god, she was totally giving Brad hand in fourth period yesterday! She's fucking disgusting!"

" I hope she gets herpes from all the casual sex!"

" I bet she already has it!"

Alfred rolled his eyes at the chatter of his female classmates, the undying migraine leaving him short-tempered and irritable. He glanced up at the redhead, jerking away as Kyle's elbow collided with his rather fragile ribs. They took a seat on the benches and the gymnasium only grew with each class that entered, much to Alfred's annoyance.

"Ugh, I _hate _assemblies! How long do you think we'll be stuck here?"

Alfred groaned, his chest caving with exasperation. The principle cleared his throat and made an entrance onto the stage, his ever-present smile missing. Alarmed by his serious expression, the crowd fell silent and Alfred quickly fixed his eyes forward.

"Good morning students, I'm glad to see that you're all lively as usual but I have to call your attention to an issue of great urgency..."

Kyle let out a disgruntled sigh, furrowing his eyebrows in neglect when the American ignored him. Mr. Robinson adjusted the microphone and triggered a giggle from the audience when his enormous gut almost knocked the stand over. The screen soaked up the projected image, leaving Alfred shaking, needing his inhaler as he watched his greatest fears come to life. Despite the fact that Arthur's smile was absolutely blinding, Alfred _knew_ that it couldn't be good news.

"For the past week, Arthur Kirkland has been missing and his brother suspects that it has something to do with him being bullied. If anyone knows of his whereabouts, please report to the main office. You are now dismissed."

The entire student body turned to face Alfred, their accusations serving as the coldest blizzard. With his thoughts scattered and his heart pounding, Alfred searched for his brother in the array of heads, utterly surprised by the icy glare shot back at him. What?! Matthew _always_ took his side! Why the fuck was he against him now? Especially when he needed him the most?!

The gigantic horde of students stood from their seats, messily clearing out of the gymnasium as they pushed and shoved against one another. Matthew purposely bumped shoulders with Alfred, dumping a frozen bucket of shame onto his head. Alfred grit his teeth.

"Don't deny it, Alfred..._you_ were the one that took his bunny and if he committed suicide, _you'll_ be the reason why..."

Alfred trapped Matthew's wrist within the circle of his fingers, pulling the blonde achingly close.

"Don't even go there! It's not my fault! What? You think I told him to kill himself?!"

The Canadian matches his teeth to Alfred's, his words barely audible. Matthew jabbed a finger into his brother's chest, sure to dent the overly priced T-shirt that draped over his shoulders.

"Yes it is, Alfred! You're a self-centered, no good piece of shit that can't even stand on his own feet! You look down on those who are less fortunate and you won't lift a finger to help them! You're a terrible brother and a nightmare of a friend!"

Matthew huffed, a knot in his chest forming as he went to leave through the door.

"And if you don't think you're a fucking passive waste, then find him and say sorry! Otherwise, I refuse to call you my brother or be seen with you in public!"

Alfred watched as his brother stormed out of the room and before he knew it, he was alone. Everyone had left him and he was starting to feel like an abandoned child...He was starting to feel like Arthur, knowing that Arthur felt like this _every fucking day_. He was starting to understand how lonely Arthur had been, why that ripped, torn, patched up stuffed bunny had meant the world to him and how wrong it was for him to break under the pressure and take it from him...Alfred fell to his knees and cried.

Ba-boom. Arthur gasped, startled by the flash of lightning that set fire to the gloomy sky. A cold rain fell from the greyish-blue clouds and pelted him again and again, Oh how he longed to cuddle up with Ian and be protected from this terrible storm...Even Mr. Bunny would help at a time such as now.

"I-I can't go home...Big brother will hate me. He's happy that I'm gone..."

The brit pulled himself into a wet embrace, endlessly alarmed by the bolts of lightning. He was shivering, sick for real this time with no one to take care of him. Slumping up against a tree, Arthur eyed the church in the distance, a little pestered by the gigantic mass of land and water that stood between them. He fluttered his eyelids shut, giving a weak smile as the roar of thunder was blocked out by Ian reading verses from the bible. Secretly, he prayed to be normal, for Ian's freedom, for Alfred's friendship. Arthur kneeled down in the long blades of grass and begged for god's advice, refusing to stop when he received nothing in response.

" Arthur! Arthur!"

Alfred had ditched school, neglecting his science test as he raced down the path of moist soil. _I have to find him, I have to stop him from killing himself or I'll never be able to change!_ The American stopped in his tracks, panting violently when the panic set fire to his throat. Alfred stared into the darkness of the forest.

"He couldn't have gone very far..."

His footsteps were clumsy, his skin drenched in a mixture of sweat and rain. Despite his exhaustion, he persevered, urging himself towards the opening of light. Alfred's eyes searched the landscape for the tiny blonde, his voice shallow and breathy. Time crawled.

"Arthur? Are you here? C'mon! It's Alfred!"

Arthur gasped, trying to mask his presence by hiding behind the prickly tree trunk. The brit felt the tension leave his muscles just as Alfred passed by. However, just as the American went to turn the corner, Arthur was hit by a sudden bout of nausea and doubled over, giving the sickliest of all noises. Alfred turned.

"Artie?! Dude! Where are you!?"

The tiny blonde replied with another heave, dirtying the grass with a viscous sludge of undigested food. Alfred crossed the field, quick to tend to his greening friend. He gently ran a hand down his spine, scrunching up his nose at the stench of Arthur's puke.

" You okay?"

Arthur coughed, pausing from his fit of vomiting as he glanced up at the American.

" I-I'm fine. You have to go, Alfred...I need to die..."

Alfred winced at the harshness of Arthur's words, wearing a serious frown on his face.

" No, Arthur...I'll miss you...You can't..."

"But even Mr. Bunny ran away fro-"

The brit whimpered as the illness delivered another punch to his gut, crouching over in pain. The bile spiralled up his throat and after a few minutes, Arthur felt relief. He grew limp in the taller man's arms, surprised to feel a cool hand resting on his forehead.

"You're sick, Arthur...C'mon, let's head back..."

The American hoisted the sickly boy over his shoulder, giving a tender smile as Arthur relaxed.

"B-But, I don't want to go home! Big brother will be anger, he'll hate me!"

Alfred spun around on his heel, carefully following the path in hopes not to get lost.

"You can stay at my house for a night, don't worry, I'll call your brother..."

" R-Really?"

He bowed his head in a subtle nod, supporting Arthur's weight.

" Yeah, I have a surprise for you too..."

Arthur gave a weak smile, snuggling into the warmth of Alfred's shirt.

"Okay..."

They began their journey back to civilization, their hush whispers blocking out the roars of thunder. The storm persisted and Arthur began to cry, striking a tense guilt in Alfred's chest.

" Aww, don't cry...We'll be there soon.."

" I-I'm scared..."

The nervous brewed in Arthur's stomach, causing him to moan in discomfort. Alfred shook him, chewing his lip as he worried for the condition of his Hollister T-shirt.

" Do you need to puke again?"

Arthur groaned, the fever making him groggy.

" No..."

" Uhh...Well, if you're going to be sick, tell me okay? Even if it's just a false alarm..."

" Kay.."

The showers of rain become surprisingly soothing.

" Hey, Arthur?"

" mmm?"

" Can you tell me why? Why did you run away?"

The tiny blonde shivered, the tears returning to his eyes.

" B-Because...Mr. Bunny is my only friend! He's the only person who doesn't think I'm a burden!"

Alfred's heart sank through the floor.

" Who said you were a burden?"

" My brother..."

The American gave a sigh of relief, stepping into the lobby of his apartment building. He brushed off the reception lady's greeting, punching the buttons of the elevator and waiting for the doors to close. Arthur was fast asleep, lost in his dreams of Disney land as Alfred jabbed his fingers into the keypad and let himself in.

" Mom! I'm home!"

" Oh, Alfred! You're soaked to the bone!"

Michelle fawned over the presence of her son, fetching a towel before delivering a sweet kiss to his forehead.

" Where were you? I was so worried!"

A nervous laugh escaped his lips as he went to soak up the moisture with the rigid fabric.

" Sorry, I was out looking for Arthur. He wasn't feeling very good so I decided to bring him back here.."

His mother paused in her blabbering, gasping when she noticed the collapsed skeleton that draped over Alfred's shoulder.

" A-Arthur?"

She scooped up the English boy in her arms, her eyebrows arching with concern when she felt the heat that burned off of him.

" How long has he been missing?"

Alfred bowed his head in shame.

" A week..."

" It's been raining for the past few days, no wonder he's sick!"

Alfred followed behind his mother as she tucked him into the guest room, the guilt almost strangling him. He never thought he'd see the day where Arthur wasn't smiling and yet here he was, laying in a mass of white sheets, ill and miserable...it was all his fault.

"I'll get him something for his fever, go take a shower, Alfie...I don't want you sick as well."

" But I-"

Michelle frowned, silencing him with a motherly expression.

" Y-Yes, Mom..."

It wasn't long before Alfred found himself slumped up against the wall, bound by a corded telephone as he waited for the Scotsman's voice to pierce through his eardrums. He swallowed thickly, his chest clenching with every ring.

" aye?"

" Hey, Ian...I found Arthur, just wanted to let you know."

The American's words served as a slap in the face to the sleepless ginger, flooding his voice with panic. There was a silence on the other end for awhile as the news left Ian speechless. Finally, he generated an answer.

" A-Arthur?! He's not dead, right?! God, please tell me he's okay!"

" Nah, he's fine...found him by the river bank across from the church. He wasn't feeling too well so I'm letting him stay the night at my place..."

"Oh, really sorry for all the trouble...What's wrong with the boy?"

Alfred sighed, the blame coating his tongue and making it hard for him to speak. Knowing the way things worked at his school, the word would get out that Arthur spend the night at his place and he'd be demoted from king of the school to the servant of all douchebags.

"Nothing serious, just a touch of the flu...He's asleep right now, I'll get him to call you again once he wakes up..."

" Um...Lad? Do you know why he ran away?"

"N-No...I don't...Sorry..."

A lie.

Alfred spent the next hour watching over fragile brit, diligently working to keep him comfortable. He soaked the cloth in a bucket of cold water, sure to ring it out before laying it on Arthur's forehead.

" M-Mr. Bunny..."

The American felt the tears prick his eyes.

" how're you holding up? I-I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner..."

Arthur didn't reply.

" Listen, Buddy...I know that you think it's only that bunny that cares for you but..."

Alfred's smile faltered, his voice breaking as he reached for the stuffed rabbit that sat on the nearby bookshelf. The words of his brother taunted him endlessly and he winced.

" I'm a part of that circle too, okay? No matter how small it may be...I care about you very much and I'm gonna make an effort to be a better person so..."

He found himself crying again, clinging to the creature for dear life.

" You don't have to carry Mr. Bunny around all the time cuz you'll have me to hang out with...Just gimme some time to figure things out and I promise to be the best friend you've ever had..."

For a moment, Alfred was lost in his quiet sobs and barely noticed the brit stirring. The shame and guilt of his violent acts of bullying had finally caught up to him and he had received a beating of self-hate for them. However, Arthur's smile had returned despite his mild illness and so did his happy-go-lucky attitude.

" Really? Do you mean it?"

Alfred glanced up from the puddle of tears on his lap, surprised to find the brit awake and lively.

" Y-You're awake? How're ya feeling, buddy?"

Arthur shivered, burying himself in the covers before generating a reply.

" Cold and a little shaky, but my tummy doesn't hurt as much anymore..."

His childish word choice brought a smile to Alfred's face.

" That's good...I-I.."

The American revealed the worn plush toy, sparking a flame of joy within Arthur's chest. Arthur pulled the rabbit into his arms.

" Oh! Mr. Bunny, I've missed you!"

A shame warped Alfred's expression, causing him to look away for a moment in disgust. So it had been true, that god damned rabbit was all Arthur had to live for and because he couldn't shove off a bit of peer pressure, he had almost killed someone. Great job, Alfie...You're the hero, huh?

" So, I already called your brother and told him that you were okay..."

Alfred rested a hand on the brit's forehead, relieved to feel the absence of inferno.

" Your fever's gone down a bit so you should be okay to go home tomorrow...Get some rest, okay?"

The America almost escaped Arthur's questioning, but just as he went to turn off the lights, he felt a set of fingers clasp around his wrist.

" Alfie..?"

He blushed at the nickname.

" Yeah, what's up?"

" Why do you have Mr. Bunny? Where did you find him?"

There was a long pause and with each passing second, Alfred felt his ego deflate. He felt like dirt, no, even lower...

" I took him from your locker..."

Alfred addressed the tiny brit that stared up at him, lost in those wide, saucer-like eyes.

" Why?"

He chewed his lip, the truth and realisation and stinging. He felt like the villain of every Marvel comic to ever exist, evil, angry, and absolutely no good. He lied.

" Cuz I wanna be your friend! By the end of this year I want you to hang out with me instead of that bunny, okay?"

The hesitation swallowed him and he failed to notice that Arthur was already out of bed, advancing him with newborn strength.

"I care about you..."

The realness of Alfred's words brought tears in them both and for what seemed like forever, they cried in each other's arms, observed by a worn plush toy that lay face-first at the foot of the bed. For once, Alfred let himself be weak, be vulnerable, and make mistakes...even if it resulted in failure.

" Th-Thank you, Mrs. Jones!"

Arthur clutched the stuffed rabbit in his arms, waving off the obnoxiously blue car as it pulled out from the driveway and turned the corner. A sigh escaped his lips and he approached the emerald green door, gently pressing in the doorbell with his finger.

" He's going to be so angry with me...He'll kick me out of the house..."

The chiming of the doorbell shattered Ian's mosaic of dreams and he jackknifed up from the couch, darting towards the field of marble tiles. His ribcage rose and fell with his breathy panting, and he reminded himself he needed to quit smoking before he pulled the wooden flap open. Arthur shrank into himself.

" A-Arthur, Yer alive!"

Ian pulled the tiny brit into a lung-crushing hug.

" You're not mad...?"

The ginger's reaction triggered Arthur's tears and he found himself crying once more, clinging to Ian like a burr. Ian scooped up the tiny blonde in his arms, delivering a kiss to his forehead before sitting them down on the worn leather couch. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Ian knew he would be getting a good night's sleep.

" No...I'm just glad yer safe..."

" I-I missed you..."

The liquid anxiety that he had been bottling up for the past 7 days surfaced itself through little tears and Arthur curled up on his lap, feverish and tired. A pain in the ass his brother may be, but Ian missed this...And he wouldn't trade someone who looked up to him like Arthur did for the world. Arthur wiped a tear from ian's cheek.

" Sorry for running away, big brother...I promise I'll never do it again..."

" I forgive ye...I'm just glad yer out of harm's way, lad..."

The blonde snuggled further into the warmth of his older brother, committing his scent to memory.

" Hey, little brother?"

" Yes...?"

" Can ye tell me why ye ran away?"

"...I just wanted to be on my own..."

Another lie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Once again, sorry for the suuupeerr long wait. Life and exams got in the way but I managed to finish the entire chapter under a few hours last night. Hope you guys enjoy it. c: **

USUK: Failure Chapter 4 

Monday soon came and with Arthur's speedy recovery, tummy aches and fevers became a thing of the past. However, despite his newly-installed attitude, Alfred found himself nervous, unconfident, and pacing back and forth. They had found out. Like the plague, the story of Arthur spending the night at his place had spread and now, he was being bombarded with text messages questioning his sexuality. His phone buzzed again in another fit of rage and Alfred knew he was screwed, completely, utterly, totally screwed.

Fucking magnificent.

Alfred ran a comb through his honey-coloured locks, pulling on a letterman jacket and sighing when the twang of hair persisted out from his scalp. Mourning his social identity, the American barely noticed his brother standing in the doorway. Using his finger as a wand, Alfred applied a thick paint along the bottoms of his eyes, glad to see that his mother's concealer had done its job of masking his zombie eyes (which were in full effect!).

"Just pretend that you don't know him, like nothing happened and it'll all be fine!"

The silence turned his gut like a doorknob, the worry threatening to send his breakfast up his throat and onto his nearest victim.

"Oh, who am I kidding?! I'm _screwed_! If that retard is the reason I don't get laid this year, he better thank me with a blow job!"

Matthew frowned into the mirror, spitting his angry words like a wad of bubblegum. Alfred turned.

"Forgot about that bullshit promise, already? I thought you were the hero, Alfred..."

"What?! Matt? Stay out of this! It's none of your goddamned beeswax, you nosey prick!"

The Canadian left the doorframe and advanced his brother with heavy, menacing footsteps.

" Yes. It. Is."

" You don't know anything!"

Alfred's words triggered a smile in him and Matthew spoke rather smugly.

"I know lots, Alfie. I know that you're a good person and that you _do_ care about him. I also know that Arthur really admires you and would be your friend unconditionally. He just needs a friend, Alfred..And you're the perfect person to give him one..."

" Glad to hear you think that way but...If I be his friend I won't be cool, Matt."

" Why are you so hung up on being cool anyway? I mean, you don't _actually_ see those jocks as your friends, right?"

" Yeah, but...They're all I have..."

Matthew's chest caved in exasperation, his shoulders slumping at his brother's incompetence.

" Well, it's time for you to get a _real_ friend. Such as, erm, Arthur."

" Bu-"

The small blonde took Alfred by the hand, towing him towards the door with ears closed to his complaints. With a small shrug, Alfred pulled on his red converse, taking another moment to study his reflection. His acne was gone, the braces had been pulled off and he had started the school year with a pair of Gucci glasses. No longer did he wear T-shirts with corny internet jokes on them, he wore over-priced snobby rich kid clothing; Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch, True religion jeans and letterman jackets. You could blame it on teenage angst or his father's new job but Alfred was a completely different person than he was in the 9th grade. He used to get shoved into lockers by the football team and now, he was _on_ it. He used to swallow names such as "pizza face" or "faggot" and ironically enough, he was now in charge of thinking up of fresh, new, demoting names to pummel the freshmen into submission. He could remember oh-so-clearly that he had sworn to himself, just last year, that he would _never ever_ become one of those douchebags and yet, he did. He wasn't a geek anymore, that was for sure...But whether this was a change for the better or a change for the worst would be forever a mystery. His brother tapped him.

" C'mon, Al...Let's go."

Alfred drifted behind him, his typically lust-soaked brain filled with thoughts of his past. Was he happier then? Would he have more friends if he stayed that way? Was being a self-centered asshole really worth all this? The doors to the elevator slid open with a ding and the two brothers stepped inside. _" I'll never know..."_

A Nervousness had rendered Alfred speechless when they entered the building of temperamental highschoolers and the first thing that came to his mind was to run for the hills and maybe try a little suicide of his own. Despite his "one foot in the grave" attitude, Alfred soldiered through the rumors, exclusion and name-calling. Diana Davidson, or as the guys called her; Double D, slouched against her locker, signalling the star-struck American over to where she stood.

" Hey, cutie~ Wanna go for a smoke later? We can totally skip third and forth if you want some loving~"

A bulge rose in Alfred's jeans and he found it increasingly hard to hide his growing boner. _"I need my balls to shrivel up now..."_ In final efforts to stop himself from embarrassment, Alfred crossed his legs.

" Uh, su-"

Briiinnngg. The morning bell ripped through the many conversations that went on in the hall, causing the students to rush up and down the stairs with the intentions of making it to their first period class. However to his surprise, Alfred felt a cold hand tow him away, a gasp escaping his lips as he was dragged towards the science lab. Matthew ignored his brother's sputtering and sat the honey blonde down at the table. An influx of words spewed from Alfred's lips at absurdity of passing up a chance to get laid.

" Matt, what the hell? I was totally about to ge-"

The Canadian interrupted him with a " shhhhh".

" Fermer le bouche, Alfred. Just let it happen..."

" Wh-Why?!"

Matthew slammed his fist on the table, his chest caving in a deep exasperation. The American couldn't help but giggle at his brother's imperfect French.

"Because she's crawling with herpes, gonorrhea and warts! She's the mother of all STDs, Diana Davidson is_ gross_!"

" Dude. Condoms."

Matthew brought a palm to his forehead, making it so the sarcasm would drip off his lips.

"Okay, well if that's the logic you want to use then imagine this; you're sticking your finger into a moldy plum filled with maggots but that isn't gross because you wrapped it in plastic wrap!"

Alfred gagged at his brother's word choice, ready to spill the contents of his stomach all over Matthew's textbook. Maybe it was better to wait until college...

"Are you still rocking that boner?"

He shook his head.

"Good, I was worried for a second. Now go sit next to Arthur over there, he's lonely!"

Alfred's face screamed protest but he was shoved out of his seat and towards the scrawny brit that sat by the window. He squeaked and put on an awkward smile as he planted himself into the plastic chair. Matthew's eyes stuck to him momentarily.

" H-Hey Artie..."

Arthur matched his pupils with Alfred's baby blues, a little grin creeping onto his face.

" Hello..."

" Glad to see you're feeling better..."

" yep! Big brother said my fever was gone so I get to be with you today!"

The hands of the clock passed each other and the only way to describe Alfred's behavior was twitchy. He was twitching with fear, anxiety, and guilt. With a deep sigh, Alfred decided to break from the lesson momentarily, removing his eyes from the black board and placing them to his left. The blood drained from his olive-colored face, the whites of his eyes expanding at the absence of his brother. Matthew had bailed on him..again. Not only had he left Alfred to copy the notes by himself ( Oh the horror!), but he also left him to deal with the retard alone. So much for moral support..With a disgruntled sigh, Alfred yanked a sheet of lined paper from his binder and abused it with the lead of his pencil. _" Fucking Matthew, how dare he give me that morning lecture and then duck out of first period? God! He makes me so jealous sometimes, while he's having a grand old time with that stoner Gilbert, I get to put up with a loopy British kid that does absolutely nothing but wreak havoc on my reputation! I fucking hate him!"_

Unbeknownst to Alfred, Matthew was diving into a world of drugs beyond the typically harmless marijuana...All out of the act of being a hormonal, jealous, attention-seeking teenager. However, unlike the over-played soap operas on television, Matthew had _reasons _to be acting the way he was. From the day he left his mother's womb to this very second, Matthew was neglected in favor of his brother. It didn't matter how well he did in school or if he did the dishes nightly or if he were to tutor the retard with kindness; he couldn't outshine his brother who literally sat on his ass and did nothing. So if being the best child possible wasn't enough to get him the emotional nourishment, then Matthew would have to resort to plan B; being the _worst_ child possible. Even if his drug-use landed him in rehab, caused his father to quit his job and had his entire family keeling over in worry, Matthew was going to receive the sentimental crap from parent to child. It didn't matter when he got it, be it on his deathbed or in a speech at his funeral, Matthew would be happy. As long as he got an " I love you" and a hug from the man and women that raised him, it was okay. Clearly, Alfred had nothing to be jealous of.

**Life was shit.**

At least for his little brother.

Sadly, Matthew knew that a helping hand wouldn't come without the effects of illegal substances and a blowjob for every payment since he was currently unemployed.

The Canadian sighed, his exasperation revealing itself in the surprisingly chilly air of the high school's dreary Monday. Oblivious to Gilbert standing next to him, he let a few tears escape. The Prussian startled him with a chuckle.

"Bad day, birdie?"

The sleeves of Matthew's sweater quickly absorbed his tears, occupying him with trying to land a punch on the lean-built albino.

" N-No! It's just my allergies!"

A weight rested on the skinny blonde's shoulders and with the brush of an erection against his backside, Matthew knew _exactly _what Gil wanted. Shuddering internally, he turned to face him. The albino only smirked.

" Gimme six and I'll suck your dick."

The Canadian's offer stretched both Gil's erection and smile to the size of yonge street, his assertiveness screaming sexy to the horny Prussian.

" What if I want your virginity?"

Matt frowned.

" Stolen."

" Oh, you dirty little slut~ Can I have the box it came in? How about sex?"

Matthew's frown quickly warped into a smile and he bowed his head in a firm nod.

" Deal. Bring them in a bag and I'll pass you off as a partner for a project."

With a verbally signed contract, Matthew continued the day thinking the worst of his problems had been dealt with. He had two morphine injections hiding under his mattress and a steady six to come...The day couldn't get any better, right? But with Matthew's reckless planning and head-strong personality, he quickly realized a few problems with his set up as the week progressed. The bell to third period rang obnoxiously and caused an influx of students to spew forth. However, to the Canadian's surprise, the name-calling and insults were significantly louder than last week's episode and a special _pair_ soldiered through the soul-destroying crowd of girls and boys. Alfred was _holding_ Arthur's hand ( high in the air, too!) while pushing through the jocks he used to call friends and steadily making his way towards the set of stairs.

" Faggot!"

" Cock-sucker!"

" Homo!"

It was as if the words were tiny misquotes and Alfred possessed all the powers of superman. What once served as bullets simply bounced off Alfred, becoming more of a nuisance than an actual threat. A daring individual made his way to the front of the crowd, pointing a finger at the two blonde men.

" Retard!"

Alfred's smile quickly faltered and he whipped around to face the dark-skinned sophomore that stood within arms' reach. His bone-chilling glare rendered both the crowd and the student speechless. The American advanced him, letting Arthur's hand drop for just a moment.

"Who're you calling retard? The guy who got a 90% on a test because he studied hard or the guy who _cheated_ off the mentally-challenged kid because he can't tell his head from his ass? You're failing grade 9 Spanish, retard!"

A gasp swept through the student body, not a single person daring to interfere as they stomped up to the second floor. Through a mild applause, the less judgemental individuals clapped and cheered for Alfred's efforts. Matthew Williams however, did not. He just stood there motionless, bleary and disoriented. Sure, it was pretty amazing that he transformed his brother from a non-caring asshole to a role model in a matter of four short days but a part of him realized that his entire plan had backfired on him. Despite his sympathy for the kid, Matthew's intentions were to knock Alfred off the social ladder so he would have a place to shine; not so Arthur and Alfred could become the " it " couple amount school gossip. Of course he wanted Arthur to have a good friend and he did kind of want his brother to be happy, but his quest for attention and friendship was far more important. Matthew's jealousy and morals declared war amongst each other as the hallway emptied. He sighed.

" Alfie! I got a 97% on my unit test! Look!"

Mr. Bunny lay slung over Arthur's arm, flailing wildly as his owner waved the test in the air to catch Alfred's attention. Despite the harsh whispers and oh-so-deadly rumors, both Alfred and Arthur managed to survive week 3 without any complications. It was a nice arrangement, not only was Alfred getting playful replies from the girls, compliments from the teachers and dinner invitations from Ian (which he very politely turned down.), but Arthur was happier, less jumpy and eager to start conversation with those within earshot. Matthew, however, only received hickies, syringes and mild bouts of withdrawal whenever Gil was out of stock. Alfred smiled widely at the stapled package and showered the brit with pride.

"Way to go, Einstein! Soon you'll be tutoring me!"

A blush powdered over Arthur's already rosy cheeks and the two erupted into a fit of giggling, sparking Diana's interest from around the corner. The big-breasted senior laid her back flat against the lockers, listening in on their conversation much like how a tiger stalked its prey. The football player reached a hand into his pocket, peering down at the lightest screen before putting an end to their small talk.

"Keep it up, buddy. I gotta run. I'll see you at 7:30!"

Diana gathered her two companions, approaching the innocent brit as they all smiled in unison. The click of their stilettos made the empty school feel like a jail cell and naturally, Arthur hid behind the soft fur of his stuffed rabbit.

" Hey, Artie~"

"...Y-Yes?"

The petite figure advanced him, twirling the curly red locks between her fingers with a giggle. Their laughter was menacing, and Arthur quickly shrank into himself as the three women crowded him. To Arthur's surprise, Diana did nothing to hurt him but instead, left a sweet kiss on his cheek.

" I'm Diana, and there are my besties~!"

The two flirtatious, silicone-filled teenagers introduced themselves. Their overly basic word choice screamed mocking to the challenged individual as he learned their names. The faired skinned girl to Diana's right was named Leah and the shorter Asian with a pixie cut went by Molly. Despite their kindness, Arthur found himself suspicious and squished mr. Bunny against his chest in a mild defense. Leah giggled.

" You wanna come hang with us?"

Molly took another step towards him, her lips shinning with a rosy pink gloss.

" Yeah, we _love_ that bunny of yours. And you are _so_ cute~"

" S-S-Sorry, big brother said-"

Arthur's words were cut short as his closest companion was stolen from him. Struck by a pang of worry, Arthur stumbled after the three sinister girls with the intentions of claiming what was his. Given a few minutes, the tiny blonde finally agreed to join them on the bleachers, for his little lungs would burst if put through any more work. Exercise was strenuous and Arthur found himself wheezing, panting, and out of breath by the time Mr. Bunny landed by in his arms. Diana snickered innocently.

" So, Artie~ What's your bunny's name?~"

" M-M-Mr. Bunny..."

Diana leaned forward, allowing Arthur to taste the spearmint on her breath as she lifted his gaze off the tarmac. The next time span of the conversation was filled with pointless, teasing question and the English boy found himself on the brink of tears. With a chest full of anxiety and a quiet whimper, Arthur shrank into himself. He didn't want to be here! Why were these girls making fun of him? He just wanted to be at home with his big brother and listen to him read stories from the bible!

" Artiiieeee~"

" Y-Yes?"

" Do you like Alfred?"

At the words of Molly, Arthur froze, the blood leaving his already pale complexion. The effects of the three speaking in unison caused the world to spin and soon, Arthur was immersed into an endless fit of crying.

" I-I don't want to talk about that! Leave me alone!"

" But Artiiieee, we're your friends, aren't we? This is stuff that friends talk about!"

Diana pouted, urging the more kind-hearted Leah to join in their act of hurt and despite. Like a fishing line with bait, they dangled the irresistible above Arthur's head, dumping buckets and buckets of cold guilt onto the abused English boy. Molly couldn't help her smirk and invaded his personal space even further.

" Yes, but-"

" Then tell us."

Arthur's tears wetted the soft fur of his plush toy and he gave a deflated nod, his cheeks red from the embarrassment and the crying.

" Fine! I like him, a lot! I wish I could be cool like him!"

His response caused laughter to spill out from their lips and Diana struggled with maintaining her balance, stopping herself from tumbling backwards and smashing her face into the concrete. The skinny blonde felt violated, disrespected, mocked. Without a second thought, he hopped off the side of the bleachers and jogged towards the entrance of the school. Of scrapped knees, stomach flus, sinus headaches, paper cuts and runny noses, feeling humiliated was the worst! Exhausted from the stress and heartbreak the day had offered, Arthur flopped into the sturdy arms of his brother once he set foot onto the porch. At the sight of tears, a woeful expression and an abused lip, Ian instantly grew protective. But despite his efforts to uncover the mystery, his brother blamed it on tiredness and injuries and ran up the stairs without another word. For hours, the house was filled with sounds of crying, mumbling and an unnerving silence. To the ginger's relief, Arthur finally spoke on the ride to his tutoring session.

" Big brother?"

" Aye?"

He rested one hand on the wheel and turned to face the quiet blonde, keeping a hush tone of voice. Carefully, Ian wiped a remaining tear from Arthur's cheek.

" What's wrong , lad?"

" I like a boy...Is that okay?"

A bubble of parental worry surfaced in Ian's gut, filling him with an overwhelming panic until all he could manage was a nod.

" Who is it?"

" It's Alfred. He's really cool and really smart and really, really nice! He sits with me at lunch and walks to school with me sometimes..."

He raised a thick eyebrow at his brother's response.

" He even stood up from me once..."

Ian made a stop, waiting for pedestrians to cross as the red light bounced off the angular features of his well-sculpted face. He chewed his lip in a slight nervousness. Without a reply, Ian sent the vehicle forwards at the sight of green. _"My brother's very sweet and loyal and probably the best person to have admire ye. Don't treat him well and I'll beat yer teeth in..."_

_Wiiiisssh_. Alfred grinned, watching as the sugar-sprinkled cereal piled at the base of his apple-shaped bowl. It seemed that a tradition had marked the start of the tenth grade, ever since daddy had left to China, Alfred had been finishing his night with frosted flakes and a splash of skimmed milk. The American brought the dripping spoon to his lips with a blissful sigh.

" mmm...heaven."

Something that was less heavenly though, was the five pounds Alfred had gained from giving into his sweet tooth. From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the fridge door, the shock causing him to set down the bowl immediately. He poked at the layer of fat, quick to dump his cereal down the sink and activate a stream of cold water. There was no way that he was going to let his gut expand faster than his father's company. In the dim light of the kitchen, Alfred made a beeline towards the medicine cabinet and wrenched out a bottle of orange capsules. Ahhh, Adderall...He hadn't seen these since mid-term, last year. He smiled at the pills as if it were a long-lost friend, the whites of his eyes growing when he shook them. He swore that there had been more the last time he took them. But before the anxiety could stir his mind, Alfred's chain of thought was shattered by the creak of the bathroom door. He turned, uninterested by the sight of the now-bathed Canadian. Matthew sauntered over to the counter, his damp curls settling by his shoulders. Alfred frowned.

"Whatcha doing?"

" Nothing much. Just counting my adderall..."

" Oh, cool. Anyway,did you hear about Arthur?"

Matthew's words caused an immediate eyebrow to raise on the American's face. He leaned in closer, abandoning the amphetamines for his daily fix of gossip.

" What about him?"

" You know...That he likes you. Apparently, his notebook is filled with hearts with your name inside."

Alfred chewed his lip in disbelief, only stopping when he spotted the hickies along Matthew's neck. A jealousy flared in his chest and he blamed his growing belly for his lack of opportunities.

" Really? You think he likes me?"

His brother slipped off the slab of marble, giving a firm nod before steering himself down the hall and around the corner.

" Yeah, it's so blatantly obvious. G'night, Al."

Alfred smirked.


	5. Chapter 5

USUK: Failure Chapter 5 

Arthur glanced up from the incomplete page of his colouring book, an excitement causing his heart to flutter as he met the eyes of Ian.

" A sleepover? With Alfred?!"

"Aye. I'll be out of town tonight and Francis is busy so ye'll be staying with them...Sorry for not mentioning it earlier, I know ye really wanted to see the lorax."

To Ian's surprise, unlike many times before, Arthur flashed a pearly white grin in his direction and abandoned his cluttered workspace. It was rare that he and his brother spent a night apart and for the first time, no tears had been shed and a promise to get ice cream hadn't been necessary. The corners of his lips curved up in a smile as he watched Arthur putter around the room, neatly folding his pajama pants, gathering the needed toiletries and tuck Mr. Bunny away with the small pile of clothing. In the tiny compartment of his bag, Arthur slipped his away cellphone and gave a hum of approval as he checked off the items on the list that Ian had wrote him. It was this newborn air of independence that had rubbed off on Arthur and he was glad to find him talking less about Mr. Bunny and more about joining the crafts club, watching Alfred's football games and his plans for the future. Ian could only blush with pride as the years of good parenting, hard work, and discipline began manifesting in his cherished little brother. Once the bag had been zipped shut, Ian sat the skinny brit down on the edge of his bed where they began to go over manners and social norms.

" And when Mrs. Jones makes ye dinner?"

" I say thank you!"

" And when yer talkin' to someone?

" I stay out of their personal bubble!"

Ian's smile only grew with Arthur's mastered replies.

" And how big is their bubble?"

The childish blonde stood from his bed, extending his arms and twirling until the room spun circles around him. He collapsed onto the sheeted mattress once he grew dizzy, an influx of giggles leaving his throat.

"An arm span!"

His brother's confidence brought relief to his muscles, the worry fading from his chest as he rewarded Arthur with a pat on the head. They wrestled under each other's weight for a few minutes and in the warm silence, Ian vowed to never forget this moment. He held the innocent, patient little brother close to his heart, knowing that the now-developed independence would rip a gaping void in their relationship. Arthur smiled as he wiggled out of Ian's grasp.

" Are ye ready to go?"

" Yep!"

Alfred couldn't stop smiling. After a week of playing detective, the case was finally closed, the rumors were proved to be true. Arthur stuck to him like glue, blushed at his very praise, and fiercely defended him in the midst of angry criticism. With a wide, wide grin and an oversized ego, Alfred faced his reflection and smirked internally...

This was going to be a fun night.

However, in the room next door, Matthew faced his reflection with an expression that shouted nothing but shame. The hickies along his neck and chest deserved to be hidden and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget the feeling of suffocating under Gilbert's forceful lust. There was no one to blame but him, right? _He_ was the one injecting poison into his blood, _he_ was the one who had no self-respect, _he_ was the one who let the hands of a complete stranger _ravish_ him while he the most vulnerable...It was _him_ that didn't do a good job earning the affection of his parents and it was because of _his_ fuck up that he was dealing with withdrawal, anxiety and thoughts of suicide.

Once again, this all could have been avoided if his fuck up levels weren't so high. It seemed that he needed to eat less bullshit and instead swallow some pride.

" Guess I should just call it a night...Mom doesn't seem to care if I'm " not feeling well" for the fifth night in a row and certainly won't stay home to take care of me..."

Matthew chuckled brokenly as he retrieved a vial of morphine from under his mattress. It seemed that his life had become a viscous cycle of trying to earn his mother's attention and the battle of giving up entirely or to keep trying in his mind was destined to rage on forever. The springs groaned under his weight as he took a seat on his bed, a moment stolen from time to marvelling the precious clear liquid. He took a deep breath, popped off the protective cover and watched as the plastic emptied itself. He placed the needle by his nightstand in hopes that someone would find it and gave a sigh of relief once a fire had been set to his blood stream. The room spun, the mattress seemed to absorb him, and despite his frame of 115 pounds, he felt weightless and free.

Free from the despondence, hate, anger, jealousy and violence the world had served him on a heaping large plate.

Free from the judgement of his peers and those more fortunate than him.

For once, Matthew felt like he was better than everyone else.

Too bad it was the morphine high talking and not his non-existent confidence.

_Ding-dong_. The doorbell chimed and at the daunting anticipation, Alfred drove his feet towards the plane of wood that stood between his apartment and the hallway. Tripping over countless pairs of stilettos, flip flops and sneakers, the American managed to pull the door open without making a fool out of himself. He met the stern, blue pupils of Arthur's brother and for a second, felt as if his plan had been a terrible idea. Despite his temporary air of nervousness, Alfred revealed his gleaming, white teeth in a signature grin. His mother waltzed daintily from out the bathroom and quickly joined the group of three. She was dressed in red, the shimmering fabric ended just below her little bottom and her golden blonde curls bounced with her every step. The wings of her eyeliner stopped halfway to her arched eyebrows and oblivious to her son, she was going out for a night of clubbing. Arthur smiled shyly, shuffling towards the American as their parental figures discussed the time for pick up.

" Alright, 4 PM sounds great! We'll see you then!"

The Scotsman gave a quick nod, squeezing his brother's skinny frame before turning to leave.

" Aye. Don't be afraid to call me if he misbehaves..."

Arthur watched as his brother disappeared into the elevator, the anxiety overpowered by the excitement as Michelle gave him a tour of the house. His smile shrank in a hot blush when they stopped at the room he would be sleeping in.

" And for the night, you can sleep in Alfred's room. He and Matthew share a bathroom so you don't have to sneak into my room to use the loo. That is what the English call it right?"

He bowed his head in a nod, flattered by Michelle's interest in his homeland. A tense silence passed between the three before she steered herself over to the mess of shoes by the door. Michelle and Alfred exchanged blinding, white grins, causing Arthur to stare in awe as he observed the flowing conversation between mother and son.

" You can take care of dinner yourself, right?"

" Yeah, leave it up to me. Arthur won't go hungry."

Michelle wobbled, sighing in relief when she found her centre of balance on the ridiculously tall stilettos.

" 'Kay! Just call me if you need anything, Alfie! Oh, and don't bother to cook for Matthew...He said he wasn't feeling well so he probably won't eat until tomorrow morning."

" Got it."

" Don't burn the house down, I'll be back late tonight..."

Arthur raised a curious eyebrow, shocked by Alfred's kiss to the forehead. He snuggled into the rabbit's fur in a slight confusion, the relationship between Alfred and his mother coming off as unorthodox. _"That's weird...Mum and I never had that much to talk about...Maybe it's because Alfie's smart or something..."_

Alfred shrugged off the seeds of worry, slipping past Arthur and finding the fridge in the kitchen. With a hum of approval, he snapped the brit's chain of thought and shoved a few slices of pizza onto a plate and into the microwave. _Beep. Beep. Beep_. He jabbed the keypad with his index finger, setting the time to a minute before slouching against the granite counter.

" What do ya feel like, Artie?"

Arthur jumped, plopping down in his usual seat at the dinner table and generating a response. His cheeks pinked at the use of a nickname and rather quickly, the blush had spread to his ears.

" U-Um, salad would be nice.."

Alfred dropped a variety of vegetables onto the counter, grabbing a flat-edged knife and a cutting board. He gestured Arthur to choose with the raise of his eyebrow, struggling to hold down his smirk as Arthur pointed to the cucumber.

" C-Cucumber, lettuce, tomatoes and carrots..."

The American smiled with a nod, plopping the ingredients into a large bowl and sliding it across the counter for Arthur. He rested a hand by the fridge, pulling it open once more.

"Dressing?"

" L-Lemon juice..."

" Weirdo."

Alfred chuckled, dropping the yellow bottle into his slender fingers before retrieving his now-ready pizza from the microwave. The blondes ate in silence for a moment, the soft patter of the rain like music to Arthur's ears. Alfred abandoned the crust of his second slice, a string of cheese hanging from his lips as he took a moment to study the brit's profile. It was the first time he really got a good look at him. Despite his childish grin, Arthur was really quite handsome. His eyelashes fluttered ever-so-gracefully, a creamy, pale skin draping over his tall cheekbones. The bridge of his nose stood high and even in a moment of apathy or perhaps boredom, Arthur's green eyes out-sparkled the greatest gem known to man. For a second, Alfred felt unworthy of breathing the same air.

" What're you thinking about, Artie?"

" ...England."

The words rolled off his tongue so effortlessly and Alfred found himself speechless until his brain caught up with their conversation.

" England, huh? Is that what rain reminds you of?"

" Yes...It reminds me of home."

" How _was_ life at home?"

Alfred clenched his fist under the table, struggling not to pull a face at the sad story he was about to be told. If life in England had been good for Arthur, there was no reason for them to come here like he said they did. The scrawny brit set down his fork, turning to face him with an unreadable expression.

" I lived in a big house with my mum and my brothers. I-I have four of them, well sort of..."

" Sort of?"

" M-My biggest brother ran away a long time ago...I never met him, that's just what Ian told me. Mum was often on vacation exploring the world..."

" Was she nice to you?"

Arthur stammered, a little unsure of how to answer his question.

" W-Well, yes...I suppose. She was very beautiful and sometimes she cooked for us. We called her mother ...And I studied very hard to impress her. I never did a good job though..."

" What kind of things did you study?"

The brit looked down at his fingers, hoping to list the activities without forgetting any.

" Violin, flute, piano, Latin, French, German and Spanish. I-I was never very good at any of them though..."

Alfred winced at the number, feeling guilty when he didn't recall having to stress out over anything until his freshman year of high school.

" That's a lot to study. Did you get any breaks?"

" N-No...Only when I wasn't well enough to attend school."

" And what if you didn't do them like you were asked?"

Arthur fumbled nervously, shaking his head in a subconscious decision not to think about the consequences.

"Then mother would be disappointed in me..."

His words made Alfred's heart ache and for a moment, he contemplated reaching out and pulling the skinny blonde into a hug. The American leaned back in his chair, the crack of his neck breaking the silence between them.

" I don't remember dealing with any of that when I was young...The only thing my mom signed me up for was baseball.."

A woeful smile crept onto Arthur face and he sighed, stabbing at the lettuce once more. Mr. Bunny sat in his lap rather patiently, listening in on their conversation as if he was a therapist taking notes.

"Y-You're very lucky to have a mum like that. I wish our little talks were a bit longer..."

Alfred peeled his gaze away from Arthur, fixing his babyblues upon the translucent plastic on the table across from them. He twiddled his thumbs, consumed by the heartbreak and tears associated with the orange capsules from within the bottle. Behind his pride and insecurities, Alfred knew he was just drowning in self-pity. Arthur had it _a lot_ worse than he did...But when he grew up being told he was perfect, he didn't expect a diagnosis and 30 mg of Adderall to label him as the kid with ADHD. He found Arthur's words hard to swallow and rather quickly, induced a change of topic.

" Yeah, I am. Thanks, Arthur...Are ya done with that?"

Arthur nodded shyly, mumbling an apology at the rabbit sitting in his lap for not sharing his vegetables. The American stood, rolling his broad shoulders before extending his hand to collect Arthur's half-empty bowl. The two found themselves curled up on a white leathered couch after finishing off with the dishes, a dirty smirk making its way onto Alfred's face. The tiny brit snuggled closer, resting a head on his lap in the dim light of the living room.

" It's only 6:30...Do you wanna watch a movie?"

" S-Sure! Do you have The Lorax?"

Alfred froze at the brit's suggestion, stifling a laugh as he shook his head. _"Right, Right..He's still a frickin' child...This is why I can't take him seriously..." _To Arthur's disappointment, the honey blonde merely snickered, pulling out a mysterious disk from under the couch cushions. Fearing the unknown content, Arthur jackknifed into sitting position and hid behind the soft fur of his stuffed rabbit. This couldn't go well.

" Nah, that movie's lame. Let's watch something scary instead!"

" But I don't like sca-"

The American frowned into the disk's reflection, watching as the contraption accepted the metal with a low hum.

" C'mon, Arthur! We always do what _you_ want to do! It's my turn!"

The dim, intimate lightning faded into a blue dark at the swipe of Alfred's finger and as planned, Arthur withered and gave an inward nod. The hands of the clock shifted rather slowly, teasing both the sinister teenager and his innocent companion. Arthur bit down on his lip, resisting the urge to cry when the monster tore through the civilians like paper. _" I have to do this for Alfred! If I want to be cool like him, I have to watch scary movies and do what he likes sometimes! If I don't he'll never fall in love with me!" _Alfred's devilish grin had made a full appearance by the time the credits started rolling, and at the yawn of the childish brit, he knew it was time they go off to bed.

" G-Good night, Alfie..."

The anxiety didn't quit even as Arthur slipped under the covers alongside the American, and despite his well-honed willpower, Arthur found himself on the brink of tears, trembling at the memories of the violent film.

"What's wrong, buddy?"

Alfred shifted towards the smaller body, his length straining within his boxers at the thought of _tasting _the inside of his mouth. Oblivious and obviously uncomfortable ( he was terrible with scary movies!), Arthur curled tighter into his ball.

" Sc-Scared...Want my big brother...Going to get nightmares from the movie..."

Alfred snaked his arms around Arthur's waist, the rising libido causing both his smile and his erection to grow. Panting against the back of his ear, the American's fingers crept under the blue pajama pants and settled at his protruding hipbones. Arthur moaned softly at the cold touch that traveled towards his groin, whimpering in confusion. The soft fabric slid from Arthur's shoulder and Alfred licked his lips, hissing seductively before abusing the pale, creamy skin with his teeth.

" Don't worry, I'll protect you~"

" Nnnngh..Alfie, what are you doing? I-I don't like this..."

A temporary pout replaced Alfred's grin and rather suddenly, he trailed his tenting boxers upwards and against Arthur's backside.

" But you like me, right?~"

" Y-Yes, but-"

" Well if you really like me then we have to have sex...it's what lovers do.."

The use of the word "lovers" rendered Arthur helpless and in that quick moment, Alfred took the liberty of pinning the tiny body under his weight. _This _was what he had been waiting for, he would finally have things his way and he could finally brag to Matt about losing his virginity. In just a few seconds, the skinny blonde's underwear had been tossed to the side and a stiff, hard, foreign object had pried into his much-too-small entrance. The mix of pain, fear and humiliation pricked his eyes and inevitably, an influx of tears had raced to get to Arthur's chin and he was sobbing, squirming..._begging_ for the boy to stop.

" I-I like you a lot but it hurts and-"

" Shhh...I know it hurts, Artie...But if you love me you'll endure the pain right?"

Alfred slammed his hips forward, causing the brit to squeak and involuntarily spread his legs further. Smirking upon Arthur's now-swollen length, Alfred withdrew his member and ravished the sensitive tissue with licks and bite marks. Arthur cried out for help but only found himself sobbing louder at the malfunction of his voice box. Through the hours of abuse, Arthur knew that he loved Alfred...But that he would _never_ want _anyone_ this way ever again. Alfred rewarded him with a gentle kiss as the sun peeked towards the horizon, facing away from the numb and broken body with a smile.

" Thank you, Arthur...Thanks for proving that you love me."

Arthur said nothing in response and instead cried into the fur of his stuffed rabbit, his quiet sniffles going unheard by Alfred's ears at the wave of exhaustion that swept over them both. The night progressed and after an eternity of weeping, sobbing and desperate prayers, the naked brit slept, only to awake feeling dirty, gritty and disgusting.

" Wh-Why...Why did he do that to me? I..."

Luckily for Arthur, it was only 7:30 and Alfred hadn't woken for his morning piss just yet. The memories of rape, gore and monsters caused a bout of nausea to rise in Arthur's throat and given a few minutes time, he was hunched over, throwing up within the walls of brothers' shared bathroom. According to what Alfred said, sex was a practice between couples to prove their love for one another, it was supposed to bring pleasure to both parties and stimulate romantic feelings...But if that had been the case, why did the very thought of it make him sick to his stomach? The miserable brit retched loudly, endlessly assaulted by flashbacks of having his legs torn open, of being taken advantage of, of being humiliated. Matthew stopped at the sound of gagging, abandoning the carton of milk and driving his feet towards the bathroom door that had been left ajar.

" A-Arthur...?"

The Canadian watched as Arthur puked up the last of his salad, crumbling to the ground in surrender to not stomach pain, but what could be easily diagnosed as an anxiety attack. It was only the patter of footsteps that filled the gap between when Matthew stood by the doorframe and when he cradled the deathly pale brit in his arms. He wiped the remaining sick off his lips and clung to the red fabric immediately, using Matthew's chest as a pillow to muffle his lung-tearing sobs. Matthew could only wither in pity at the skinny blonde's expression, it was the face of someone who had been abused, raped, _humiliated_. He held the weeping boy in what could be tighter than a death grip, the sorrow causing his eyes to sting.

" What happened, Arthur?"

" A-Alfred took off all my clothes last night and...and..."

Arthur gasped for air, the anxiety plucking at his vocal cords.

"He said I had to prove that I loved him so he forced me to have sex with him! I cried all night and I don't know if he loves me because I wasn't strong enough to stand the pai-"

The Canadian fixed his grip around Arthur's vibrating frame, shaking him gently to silence him. With his heart broken from the tragedy that had journeyed through his eardrums, Matthew cried against the smaller blonde.

" H-He never loved you from the start, Arthur! Don't ever talk to him again! I'm going to yell at him for you, okay?"

" B-But I love him-"

" Well stop! Don't love a sick bastard like him! He doesn't _deserve_ you, Arthur! If you need a new tutor I'll tutor you!"

Without waking him, Matthew and Arthur sneaked into Alfred's room after an eternity of crying. The Canadian helped the shaking boy pack, redress and even text his brother to pick him up in the next thirty minutes. There was **no** way that Alfred would have the privilege of waking up to see Arthur and there was absolutely, positively, **no fucking way** that this would pass under his radar without a sincere apology. It wasn't long until the Scotsman arrived at their door and Matthew and Arthur exchanged one last hug. Ian shared a worried expression with the Canadian teen before collecting his fear-stricken, trembling, little brother and disappearing into the elevator with him. Matthew's frown remained grim and he planted himself at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal until Alfred sauntered down the hall with a yawn. Oblivious to dangerously high tension in the atmosphere, the American groaned at the stiffness of his back, weakly complaining before fixing a breakfast of peanut butter on toast for himself. Alfred's smile quickly faded when he met eyes with the angry Canadian.

" Mornin' Matt..."

No response. The bowl of corn flakes, carton of milk and silver spoon stood in perfect equilibrium as seconds ticked away on the clock. Alfred waved a hand in front of his blank-faced brother.

" Hello? Matt-"

" Shut the fuck up! Don't even talk to me!"

Matthew dug his fingers into his tanned wrist, causing Alfred to reel away in pain. He cursed loudly for a moment, raising an eyebrow at Matthew's aggression.

" Woah, who pissed in your cheerios? Someone's on their period..."

The slice of toast was approached Alfred's lips, inches away from being crushed by his gigantic molars before a cold, hard slap to the face interrupted their love affair. Alfred could only stare in shock before abandoning breakfast and raising his voice as well.

" What the fuck is wro-"

"You have the audacity to ask _me_ that?! Look around you, Alfred! Arthur's gone! He went home! You know why?! It's because a bastard like you forced him into having sex and scared him to the point where he spent the morning awake, throwing up and crying his eyes out in the bathroom!"

" Take a Valium! He liked me anyway! I don't see what the big deal is!"

Matthew almost threw up himself at Alfred's response, ramming a determined fist into the crook of his nose and frowning at the absence of snapped cartilage. The American lay slumped Up against the wall, his nostrils spewing red as the angry words of his brother stabbed at his eardrums.

" You don't deserve good friends, Alfred! You don't deserve me or mom or dad and you especially don't deserve someone as kind and sweet as Arthur! Don't touch him, don't talk to him, don't even go near him! If I hear Arthur crying because of something _you've_ done again I won't hesitate telling everyone that you took advantage of him!"

Matthew took a breath, his form still as time froze for just a moment. With tears rolling down his cheeks and a chest filled with shock, hurt, anger and hate, he spat in Alfred's direction before storming down the hall.

" I tried, Alfred! I really did! I tried getting you a good friend and you fucked it all up!"

Only silence rang through the house as Alfred swallowed reality bitter spoonful by bitter spoonful. For just a few seconds, Alfred felt ashamed.


	6. Chapter 6

USUK: Failure chapter 6 

The shiny black vehicle sped through the crowded intersection, the tensions within its white leather interior taking a dangerous rise when it halted to a stop. Red light bled through the car's protective windows and Arthur gasped, his now-intensified anxiety causing him to scratch violently at his skin. Arthur was perfectly clean of all dirt and grime and yet, he felt like he was _rotting_ from the inside. His body remained an exhibition site where Alfred had ravished him from head to toe. Everything from his mouth to his rectum burned and tingled with shame, his mind bloated by memories of gagging, choking, of having someone pull his hair and tear his legs open. An army of invisible maggots tickled him, lurking under his pale, clammy skin before Arthur itched them away. The tears raced to get to his chin and at that very moment, Ian worried that his brother was broken beyond repair. He, the therapist that believed _everybody _could be helped feared that he'd never hold his innocent little brother again. He extended an arm, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder until Arthur let out a blood-curling shriek.

"N-N-No! Don't touch me! I'm disgusting!"

Ian sighed, figuring the traffic would only make Arthur feel worse and turning onto the main streets in defeat. The worry nagged at his chest even after they pulled into the driveway.

"Deep breaths, Arthur..."

The ginger stepped outside, pulling the car door open and slowly lifting his brother into his arms. Arthur spasmed, his breathing unpaced as he was carried into the house and set down on the couch with a glass of water.

" Take yer time, lad..."

Given a few minutes time, the tiny brit began to drink. The anxiety-induced flames in his chest were soon extinguished by a soothing stream of water.

" Can ye tell me what happened?"

" A-Alfred and I watched a scary movie and when we went to sleep he forced me to take off all my clothes off and he put his thing inside me!"

Ian froze, the anger threatening to turn him into ash.

" H-He put it in my mouth and told me to suck it because I had to prove I loved him and-"

Without warning, the Scotsman pulled him into a lung-crushing hug. Arthur cried endlessly on the broad, sturdy shoulders of his brother. Ian laced his words with pity, running his fingers through the soft, tear-soaked, stands of hair.

" I'm so sorry, lad...That bastard's seen the last of ye, though. If he so much as lays a finger on ye, I'll punch his damn teeth in.."

Arthur cowered in fear, glancing up at him with green, watery eyes.

" You p-promise?"

Ian took the extended pinky in his with a nod.

" Aye. I promise. Now go take a shower, I swear it'll help.."

Arthur gave a swift reply, sure to take Mr. Bunny with him as he scrambled up the stairs and into the bathroom. However, despite the momentary relief the hot water provided him, Arthur jumped between the tub and the sink in attempts to cleanse himself with no avail. With torn gums and angry raw skin, Arthur abandoned his bloodstained toothbrush and pried the medicine cabinet open. His emerald greens twinkled with hope at the lone bottle of laxatives. Arthur held them in a death grip.

" C-Can't go back to school until I'm clean again.."

It was everything in Ian's power to dodge the cigarettes and whiskey through the days he took off work to look after his brother. By the end of the third day, he was almost as exhausted as Arthur from keeping him alive. There was no rest from worry, the days were filled with attempts to get him to speak, eat and breathe properly while the nights were filled with everything but sleep. His heart ached endlessly as he watched Arthur waste away, run out of tears to cry and blame himself for the violent episode of rape. He could only furrow his eyebrows, grit his teeth and clench his fists as he hoped for his younger brother's recovery...

**This was pure hell**.

Alfred tried not to let the empty window seat bother him as the lesson dragged on, reminding himself that he'd only start to feel guilty once the brit was absent for a full week. Still, despite his attempts to ignore the inevitable shame that clawed at his chest, Alfred found himself twitchy, unfocused and irritable under the dim light of the science classroom.

" Oh what the fuck..."

With a sigh of exasperation, Alfred's chin dropped down onto his desk in utter defeat. Matthew frowned at his brother's despondence and jabbed him with the tip of his fountain pen.

" Mmm..What?"

Alfred peeled an eyelid open rather lazily.

"Not going to write this down?"

He sighed once more.

"Nope."

" Well best of luck because I'm not letting you copy mine."

" Whatever."

Matthew capped his pen in a midst of uncontrolled rage, smacking it against the bridge of Alfred's nose.

" Don't you feel guilty?"

" Not really..."

" Well you should. He would've went anywhere with you, Alfred. He _loved_ you and you fucked it all up."

" Well if he loved me, he have forgiven me and came to school..."

Matthew abused his lip, the anger setting fire to his blood.

" Well, he can't. He's really sick. I called his brother and he told me that Arthur wasn't eating or sleeping and that he's getting anxiety attacks. He's barely surviving and he's absolutely terrified of going to school. I think you owe him an apology."

" Oh, really? I think you should shut the fuck up..."

" Well actually, I think you deserve to lose your balls for doing that to him but I'm sure you'd prefer the first choice."

" I prefer neither."

" Okay, so you want your selfish act of rape to ruin his life? You don't think Arthur deserves a good future? Some fucking hero you are, Alfred. You don't deserve anything you have, especially not a thoughtful, caring brother like me..."

The period bell rang and as Matthew gathered his binders, he pretended not to see tears brimming Alfred's babyblues.

" Whatever, see you later..."

Matthew stormed into the hall, turning the corner with Gilbert as his craving for morphine grew rapidly. A smirk warped Gilbert's lips as the bathroom stall locked behind them, trapping the two drug-crazed teens inside.

" So birdie...What can you do for me today?~"

The Canadian grinned with him, keeping a playful expression before unzipping Gilbert's jeans and dropping to his knees.

" That bulge in your pants has grown, eh? I think it's time I give you a checkup~"

The denim was quickly pulled down to his ankles and to Gilbert's surprise, Matthew caused an immediate spike in his libido. He ignored the dirtiness of the tiles beneath them, ravishing the stiff object with a combination of his teeth, fingernails and saliva. As a punishment for his relentless teasing, Gilbert flexed his hips, smirking at Matthew's gagging as he watched the Canadian swallow the bitter, creamy substance.

" Like the taste, birdie?~"

Matthew wiped the remaining cum off with the back of his hand, bidding farewell to the once-hard length that disappeared back into Gil's boxers.

" I guess. Can I have my pay now?~"

Gilbert gave his best pout, handing over the syringe once Matt rose up off the floor.

" You only like me for the drugs. My awesome dick is much better than morphine!"

The Canadian rolled up his sleeve with a chuckle, leaning up against the vandalized wall.

" Well when you can get your dick to make the room spin, call me."

The lock clicked open and Gilbert glanced over at him one last time before leaving for the hall.

" See ya, birdie. Don't kill yourself..."

Matthew gave an absent nod, wavering on the edge of consciousness as the needle emptied itself into his vein. The room ran lamps around him and despite the bout of nausea that rose in his throat, Matthew fluttered his eyelids shut and collapsed. The bowl of porcelain fractured Matthew's skull, the pond of water slowly becoming infected with a bright, red crimson.

Algebra 2 was a living hell for Alfred. Mrs. Thompson never seemed to stop talking and quite frankly, he didn't give a fuck whether exams were tomorrow, next week or never. His stomach growled, his blood sugar taking a dangerous fall and his fingers, shoulders, eyelids and lips twitched with the guilt, shame, and humiliation bestowed upon him from his previous conversation with Matthew. God, he just couldn't wait until Lunch. In an air of aggression, Alfred stood from his desk, capturing the attention of his classmates and preoccupied teacher. peeled her eyes away from the monstrous stack of unmarked tests, the sound of movement drawing a permanent frown on her face.

" Yes, ?"

Her formality hinted a tone of annoyance and the honey blonde felt as if he best shut up. It must've been his ADHD or just his personality at that, his teachers didn't seem to bother him when he walked into the class as an Adderall-crazed zombie. It seemed that he was not only the world's shittiest friend, brother, and son, but he was an absolute failure of a student as well. Grade 10 was slowly turning into a bad soap opera. However, nonetheless, Alfred swallowed thickly and spoke.

" May I go to the bathroom?"

She rolled her eyes with a swift nod and waved the honey blonde off. Not trusting his classmates to leave his Iphone untouched ( It wasn't nice having his embarrassing photos all over twitter!), Alfred slung the bag over his shoulder and sauntered into the hall. His despondence was soon cleansed from his body at the flush of a urinal and to his surprise, he spotted a familiar shoe poking out of one of the stalls. He raised a perfect eyebrow and abandoned the still-running sink.

" Matt? Ya in there?"

Silence.

" Dude, I'm coming in- Oh god, what the fuck!"

Alfred paled at the bloodbath that awaited him behind the stall door, an immediate worry possessing him. Quickly, he gathered the bleeding Canadian up in his arms and raced down to the nurse's office. Mrs. Swan froze for moments before administering stitches to Matthew's head.

" Is he gonna be okay?"

The American stumbled on his words, watching as the nurse set Matthew down on one of the many cots. The woman twirled her blonde locks of hair with a smile, charming Alfred with her little dimples.

" Yes, He'll be fine. He may experience some discomfort where he injured himself but that can be fixed with Tylenol..."

" O-Okay. Are you sure he's not concussed or somethin'?"

" That's unlikely but keep an eye out for any symptoms. Confusion, ringing of the ears and amnesia are all very bad signs."

Alfred crouched down by Matthew's bedside, picking the bits of dried blood out of his hair. He chuckled brokenly as she waltzed over to the doorframe with a roll of bandages in hand.

" Damn, if you look at him like this, you can't even tell he's blonde..."

The nurse fluttered her eyelashes, moved by Alfred's concern.

" Well, He's going to be just fine. You're such a good brother for staying behind to take care of him."

The American faked a smile, internally shaking his head at her words. He didn't deserve such a title...

" Yeah, I really care for him. Hopefully he wakes up soon.."

Alfred took Matthew's hand, letting the tears slip out once Mrs. Swan left the room. He sniffled, wiping at his eyes violently in the silence.

" I-I'm sorry, Matt..."

Matthew stirred moments later, groaning at the stabbing of his skull as he pulled himself into sitting position. He raised an eyebrow at the puffy-eyed blonde at his bedside. Alfred folded his arms, pulling on his glasses in a flustered manner.

" What the hell are you crying about?"

Matthew's smirk caused his brother to turn away from him. Alfred's cheeks burned under the watchful gaze of his brother.

" N-Nothing! Just my allergies!"

Matt's smirk only grew.

" You don't have allergies."

"F-Fine! I'm just upset, disappointed with myself that I let that happen to you. I'm your brother and I'm supposed to protect you. I swear I'm trying, Matt...I'm sorry..."

The Canadian frowned.

" Well, that's what you say every time...Don't say sorry, Just try harder."

Alfred wiped a tear from his eye, silent at his brother's words. Matthew's face softened when he heard a soft sniffling to his left. Distracted, the Canadian rolled up his sleeve, scratching at the several punctures at the inside of his elbow. Alfred frowned, gritting his teeth when he pieced the whole story together.

" A-Anyway, my head really hurts...What happened?"

" You brained yourself on the toilet after buying drugs off Gilbert and getting high off your ass."

" I'm not a druggie."

" Oh yeah? Well explain how you passed out, explain why you've been hanging out with a notorious dick like him, explain those marks on your arm!"

Matthew paled, immediately hiding the evidence with the tug of his red sweater.

" Stop jumping to conclusions, Al! Stay out of this!"

"Then don't hang out with Gil for a week."

" Then go say sorry to Arthur on Friday."

A daunting silence drifted between the brothers and Alfred smirked, giving matt's hand a firm squeeze.

" Deal."

Matthew cocked his head to the left, only replying after the relief from the crack of his neck.

"Show up at his door with all the work he missed, a planned lesson and a book."

" Why?"

" Because Ian won't let you in just like that. He's awfully protective of Arthur and your mistakes won't be forgiven."

Alfred groaned, letting go of Matt's hand to retrieve the sandwich from his knapsack. It was almost the end of lunch.

" Fine."

It frustrated Ian, it really did...No matter how much he fed him, the boy was only getting thinner. The silence from upstairs was eerie, it seemed it was completely devoid of life except for the muffled sobs and the occasional flush of a toilet. It had been a week since Arthur attended school and by the very least, _some_ progress had been made...The Scotsman patted the bottle of Valium, smiling woefully as he thanked it for rewarding Arthur with a meager 2 hours of sleep. Ian groaned at the chiming of the doorbell and abandoned his coffee, frowning upon the sight of the honey blonde American at his porch. He slouched against the doorframe, examining the contents within Alfred's arms with an ice blue gaze. _"Books, binders, and some make up work? Yer not gettin' in with just that..." _

" What do ye want?"

" U-Um...I was wondering if I could see Arthur. I collected all the work he missed and I was hoping I could tutor him since our new unit is kind of tricky..."

" Fuck off."

" Wha-"

" Stay the fuck away from my little brother. I don't want ye talking to him ever again. Ye don't deserve him!"

" Bu-"

" Leave! Don't darken my door again!"

The door slammed shut squarely on Alfred's nose and he gave a disgruntled noise, taking a seat on the steps of the porch. He glared at the bushes that lead into the garden and pulled out his phone in a midst of untamed anger. For a second, Alfred resisted the urge to chuck his shiny new Iphone into the nearby mess of flowers.

**[ Alfred ] **

**Matt, he won't let me in. :l **

**[ Message sent 5:45 PM ] **

**[ Matthew ] **

**Then you better stay out there until he does. **

**[ Message received 5:46 PM ] **

**[ Alfred ] **

**What?! R U high? There's gonna be a storm at 8 today! :c **

**[ Message sent 5:46 PM ] **

**[ Matthew ] **

**No, not this time. Don't leave until he lets you in. **

**[ Message received 5:47 PM ] **

**[Alfred ] **

**Kk. **

**[ Message sent 5:52 PM ] **

An applause of thunder ripped through the sky and Alfred sighed as god's tears drenched him from head to toe. The angels weeped mockingly and at the heavy downfall of rain, he knew that it was going to be a long night.

Arthur cradled his head in his hands, the mix of Alfred's voice and thunder causing him to waver on the edge of sanity as his bowels voided to release the liquid pain that knotted his intestines. A breathless sigh escaped him when the chorus of watery spurts ended and at the loosening of his muscles, Arthur flopped against the plastic lid. Despite having gone for the four time today, his insides burned from the laxative abuse. The cool porcelain against his ankles no longer soothed him.

" Still don't feel clean...I'm rotting..."

On frail, shaking legs, the brit stood and quickly flushed the mess away, rinsing off his hands by the sink where he was spending most of his time now. The cold stream of water provided a temporary relief as his fingers waltzed through it and Arthur dodged his reflection on his way out of the bathroom. He rested a veiny hand by his tender stomach, surprised to find Ian standing by the window when he retired to his bed as usual.

" Feelin' any better?"

The bottle of laxatives hid behind the lampshade on Arthur's nightstand, guilty for the upset stomach the brit had lied about. Arthur gave a weak nod.

" Slightly.."

The thunder startled them both.

" Th-There's quite a storm outside, isn't there?"

"Aye, and that fool's still sitting out on our porch waiting to be let in. What a bloke."

" Who?"

" Alfred."

Arthur jackknifed up from under the covers, a pang of shock causing him to raise his voice above a whisper.

" W-We have to let him in! He'll get sick like that!"

The Scotsman turned to face him, wearing a permanent, serious frown that left no room for negotiations.

" He deserves it."

" No he doesn't! Big brother, I don't think he's here to rape me! W-We should give him a chance..."

The cramping of his stomach rendered Arthur useless and at the tears of his brother, Ian sighed and gave a nod of defeat.

" Fine. But if he makes ye uncomfortable, even just a bit, call on me and I'll kick his arse. Are ye sure ye don't want to be downstairs?"

Arthur shook his head, flopping against the pillows as he watched the teal-coloured walls spin around him.

" No, I'd rather stay up here...Don't have the strength back in my legs yet."

Ian ruffled the scrawny brit's hair, giving a quick nod before slipping into the hallway. He pulled the door open with a grim down, rolling his eyes at Alfred's gasp of surprise.

" Ye've been approved. Get yer arse inside."

" O-Okay! Thank you!"

The Amercian set foot into the house, wildly searching for Arthur before the obnoxious clearing of Ian's throat. Alfred froze and watched as the Scotsman set fire to the hair of an innocent cigarette. At the nervousness that rose in his throat, he took a seat at the kitchen table and begged internally for a glass of water. Alfred swallowed thickly.

" Is he okay?"

Ian raised an annoyed eyebrow.

" Well I take it yer brother told ye to come see him?"

Alfred nodded stiffly.

"The anxiety attacks have been keeping him up so he's needed Valium to sleep at night, he won't eat unless I force him. So in short, no...He's not okay."

His words caused Alfred's ego to deflate to the size of a pea and rather quickly, he shrank into himself. A boulder of unending shame rested on his shoulders.

" S-Sorry. I...I can go see him now, right?"

Ian pointed towards the staircase, waving the honey blonde off.

" Aye. And don't do anythin' stupid..."

Alfred bounced up the steps and towards Arthur's room, taking a deep breath before rapping his knuckles against the plane of wood.

" Hey, Artie? It's me, Alfred..."

A muffled "come in" from behind the door only caused his heart to crumble further and he smiled woefully before setting foot inside the tiny bedroom. The ill, pale-faced brit trembled as Alfred placed the stack of books onto his nightstand.

" How have you been?"

" A-A-Alright. Why are you here?"

Alfred knelt down by Arthur's bedside, leveling their gazes in hopes to lower the tensions that rose exponentially.

" I came here to give you the makeup work. The new science unit is really difficult so I thought you might need some tutoring."

Arthur remained silent, the fear sealing his mouth shut.

" Let's start, then...I drew you some diagrams to make it easier for you."

The stale silence simmered away at the start of the lesson, a temporary grin tugging at Arthur's lips.

" So atoms share bonds...Do you know what they're called?"

" Bonds of friendship?"

Alfred chuckled, grabbing the pen and drawing another diagram to accompany his explanation. It was only halfway through the session that Alfred realized that his little blonde friend was 3 sizes smaller and wavering on the edge of consciousness. With eyebrows arched in concern, the American clasped his fingers around Arthur's shaking wrist.

" Artie..When's the last time you ate?"

Arthur leveled his glassy, emerald greens with the worried baby blues.

" A-A few hours ago. Ian's been making me eat..."

Alfred's pupils only darkened further.

" Then why are you so skinny?"

At the quiet churning of his gut, Arthur winced, sliding off the edge of his bed. He exposed the jumbo bottle of laxative from behind the lampshade, abusing his lip when Alfred paled.

" I-I've been feeling really dirty ever since you raped me and neither baths or brushing my teeth have helped so...I've used laxatives to cleanse myself."

The sight of tears brimming the Brit's eyes caused Alfred to administer an immediate hug, refusing to let go despite Arthur's squirming.

" Oh, Arthur...Please don't do that...You can make yourself really sick."

The quiet sobs at his shoulder didn't stop and with every sniffle, the American felt his heart shatter into smaller and smaller pieces. It was absolutely, positively, 100% his fault that Arthur was wasting away and he intended to fix it.

"But I feel disgusting! I'm rotting on the inside and there's nothing I can do to stop it!"

"Arthur, things like this take time...You're not dirty, _I'm_ the dirty one for doing what I did! I'm so, so sorry..."

Alfred grabbed the sickly Brit by the shoulders, the tears now brimming his eyes too. Arthur stood speechless, waiting for him to continue as the memories of rape only numbed his stomach pain.

" Do you forgive me...?"

Arthur gave a stiff nod.

" Y-Yes.."

"Good, now let's get rid of these..."

Alfred snatched the plastic bottle off the wooden nightstand, towing Arthur into the bathroom next door.

" Alfie! What are you doing?"

The white, cramp-inducing tablets dove to their deaths, each creating several, tiny splashes in the toilet bowl. They stared into the ring of porcelain, Alfred's fingers clasped so tight he wondered whether or not they were broken. The Brit ploughed through bout after bout of gut-wrenching diarrhea in hopes to cleanse himself and at this very moment, Arthur knew that only time to rinse him clean of all dirt and grime. Alfred smiled knowingly and pushed down on the handle, allowing Arthur to bid the laxatives farewell. After the whirlpool swallowed them, Alfred took both Arthur's cold, clammy hands in his.

" Promise me you'll be at school on Monday? I'll protect you from the bullies and everything...Just don't hate me..."

A smile warped Arthur's lips and he nodded, the once nonexistent hope shinning brighter than ever in his pupils.

" Yeah, I promise."

The buzz of Alfred's phone broke the silence between them and looking both disappointed and relieved, the honey blonde released his grip on Arthur's fragile fingers. His mother was spamming him with texts of how late he was for dinner and despite the fact her famous seven layer burgers were going to need to be reheated, Alfred found himself satisfied. It had all been worth it; the feelings of anxiety, being pelted by the rain, and facing Arthur's scary brother all seemed miniscule in comparison to the day's achievements.

" Sorry, Artie...My mom's calling me for dinner. We'll continue the lesson another time, alright?"

Rendered speechless, Arthur only shifted once the American gathered his stack of binders and descended the staircase. He took a seat at the edge of his bed, raising a thick eyebrow at the abandoned book on his nightstand. Though slightly tattered, the book shouted appealing at its bright, red cover and vivid visuals. The title read "Spoon" and Arthur giggled as he flipped it open. He felt his heart swell at the contents of the sticky note inside.

**Hey, Artie. **

**Matt told me that you were having trouble sleeping so I decided to give you this. My mom used to read it to me all the time when I had nightmares and it really helped so I hope it'll do that same for you. If not, feel free to call me. **

**212-959-2959**

**Your best friend, **

**Alfred**

A soft blush dusted over his cheeks when he ran his eyes over the messy print. Oblivious to Arthur, Alfred had gone home and taken the longest shower known to man. The book proved to be useful because come Sunday, Arthur was well-rested, emotionally-stable and clutching a full stomach on the car ride to Francis's place. However, despite the drop in anxiety attacks and his increased appetite, a newborn nervousness filled the Brit's chest and frankly, Arthur couldn't see himself attending school ever again. Ian stopped at a red light, his smile faltering at the sight of his greening brother.

" Are ye alright, lad?"

Arthur straightened immediately, shaking his head to dismiss the issue.

" Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just very worried about seeing Alfred on Monday.."

The ginger ruffled Arthur's hair, gluing his eyes to the road once more as they turned the corner into the peaceful suburbs. A quiet sigh escaped the skinny blonde's lips when Ian parked in the driveway.

" Francis will help ye with yer anxiety. He's an old friend of mine and a great therapist. We met in university."

" R-Really? A better therapist than big brother?"

" Aye. He's good enough that while I work at the hospital, he has his own office and several flattering ratings online."

Arthur smiled, following his brother onto the porch as he squeezed Mr. Bunny for protection. The nervousness leached the strength from his already-brittle legs and Arthur melted into Ian's embrace, breathing in the scent of whiskey, cigarettes and aftershave before bidding him farewell. Arthur chewed his lip, only ringing the doorbell after watching the car pull out of the driveway and disappear around the corner. To his surprise, a peachy-skinned Frenchman stood behind the wooden plane and with a pearly, white grin, urged him inside. After kindly turning down the offer for drinks, the soft-spoken blonde took a seat in one of the arm chairs. Francis sat across from him, not losing his smile.

" Ian has told me a lot about you. It is Arthur, non?"

" Y-yes. You're Francis, right? Brother's old friend?"

The Frenchman's smile only grew.

" Oui. Why don't you tell me more about yourself? I have been waiting to speak to you..."

Arthur snuggled into the rabbit's soft fur, a bit uncomfortable with sharing the details of his life.

" W-Well, I'm Arthur. I left England at the age of ten with my brother and my bestest friend in the whole, wide world!"

Francis raised a perfect eyebrow, eying the stuffed animal in the Brit's lap.

" H-Here he is. Say hello, Mr. Bunny!"

Francis shook the rabbit's flimsy arm, glancing up at Arthur after a few seconds.

" So, is he your only friend? Surely, you must be rather lonely at school. Do you have anyone else?"

Arthur nodded stiffly.

" Y-Yes, I have a friend named Alfred. H-H-He's special..."

"Oh? Tell me about this Alfred..."

At the Frenchman's command, Arthur flipped open his sketchbook and uncapped a pen with a determined pair of teeth. A bashful smile crept onto his face as he began explaining Alfred's handsome exterior. The ink painted a rather flattering portrait of his crush, conforming to the hyperbole that spewed from Arthur's lips.

" He's tall, blonde, and really tanned with beautiful blue eyes. He has these strong cheekbones, a high arch to his nose, and this angular jaw line. To top it all off, he also has these adorable round cheeks."

A blush powdered over his cheeks when he realized how over-the-top described was. Nonetheless, Francis felt his smile grow as he chuckled softly.

" Can I see?"

Arthur handed him the nearly-filled sketchbook.

" Ahh, he is quite the handsome boy indeed."

" H-He's probably not as good-looking as I make him out to be but, I really like him..."

" It is fine, dear. Those we like are better looking to us than to a passing stranger..."

" Yeah, I agree.."

" So you have told me all about his appearance, but how about his personality? Does he treat you well?"

" Well, yes. He's the only one that stands up for me and he doesn't let anyone pick on me. I feel very safe around him, w-well, I used to..."

" Oh? Did something happen?"

"I recently had a sleepover him and he raped me. For the past week I've been using laxatives to cleanse myself. He came to say sorry on Friday and I forgave him because he really cares for me but...I'm scared of seeing him on Monday."

Francis's smile faltered.

" He is popular, non? Has he not bullied you in the past?"

"Y-Yes but...When I ran away, he came to find me."

"And why did you run away?"

Arthur chewed his lip, his eyes filling with tears once more.

" Because I wanted to die. I came home from school one day and I heard Ian talking on the phone. He called me a burden and I didn't want to bother him anymore so..."

The Frenchman felt his heart break at the memory of that conversation, the pity causing him to stand and extend an arm. Arthur glanced up at the hand offered to him, a confusion warping his tear-stained face.

"Do you like flowers, Arthur?"

"Of course I do..."

Francis's smile made a reappearance.

" Good, then follow me, petit..."

The tiny Brit abandoned his furry companion, slipping his hand into Francis's as a display of trust. The door to the backyard slid open, triggering an immediate grin in Arthur as a bittersweet nostalgia coated his tongue. It was all so familiar; The smell of angels' tears, a maze of flowers, the quiet that allowed one to drown in his thoughts, the garden reminded him of England. Francis gave his fingers a gentle squeeze before towing the Brit towards a fenced around bed of roses. Arthur stared in an air of curiosity.

" You see those? They are scarlet carsons. They are very rare. I bred them myself and they are like my children..."

Arthur gave a nod, his eyes following the Frenchman's finger.

"And the white ones? They are the hardest to take care of but to me, they are the most beautiful."

"Not a burden?"

" Not at all, dear. It is a labour of love and though I am often frustrated, they are cherished. Do you understand?"

" Yes. W-Well, I suppose. Where do you come from?"

" The suburbs of Paris. My mother grew flowers in a box outside our window just like she raised me; with prudence and care."

" O-Oh, I see. How about your daddy?"

" My father left us when I was very young. Now come along petit, I have macaroons inside."

The deep, meaningful segments of their conversation were quickly washed from Arthur's mind as he bit into the little pink pastry. After eating his fill, he curled up on the couch with a grin and drifted off to sleep with the Frenchman's permission. For the first time in ages, his heart was at peace and knowing that Alfred had changed, he looked forward to Monday.

**Author's note: Omg, this chapter took forever. ; n ; Please keep in mind that I plan each chapter out, write it on paper, and then type it up. Oh, also there's editing involved. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. c: Btw, Adderall is an amphetamine used to treat ADHD, common side effects include decreased appetite, increased alertness but decreased fatigue. Thanks for reading and please please please do review~! It makes my day and also, people who review get special online buddy privileges. Oh and tell me in the reviews if you want spamano in this story~ **


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